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Thursday, September 24, 2015
NO! I’ll get it!
NO! I’ll get it!
(House Stuff Women Don’t Want Men to do)
The following is a generalization based on my experience with three wives. Past results do not guarantee future expectations. Your household performance may differ.
The house in which I grew up had clear lines of responsibility. Dad went to work and brought home money to pay for everything. Mom did the laundry, cleaned the house, prepared all the meals, made sure everyone got to school and work prepared and on time. Dad did the yard work, except weed pulling; mom pulled weeds (or assigned them to me or my brothers if we made the mistake of being “bored.”) The kids set the table, cleared the table and every once in a while washed the dishes.
The responsibilities in today’s households are more blurred. Husband and wife both bring home the bacon. Yard work is generally left for the man. Women do the majority of any child care, and household chores are shared. Well except for those things that women are unwilling to allow a man to do.
Man is allowed, even encouraged to prepare meals. Man is allowed to do general clean up, sweep, polish, and put stuff away. He might not do these things without being told, but he is allowed to do them. Man is expected to take out the garbage. Woman will not do anything that is garbage related. Man changes light bulbs, hangs pictures and kills bugs.
Then there are those chores that man could do, but women will not allow it.
Man must not load or unload the dishwasher. Apparently man cannot figure out what is allowed to go in the dishwasher, and man cannot properly load a dishwasher. Man does not know where clean dishes are stored.
Man could vacuum, but he is not allowed. The carpets will be clean, but they will not have proper lines. Man does not leave lines when vacuuming and without the lines there is no way of knowing that the carpets have been vacuumed. When a woman vacuums, the carpet looks like the field at Yankee Stadium.
Man cannot do laundry. He will overload the machine; he will not separate colors from whites and does not know which setting to use on the drier. Man will clean the drier lint. Apparently to women that is a garbage related task. A man can never fold laundry to a woman’s standard.
A man cannot iron clothes. Actually no one irons clothes anymore.
Man cannot water the plants. He will always either over or under water any indoor plant.
A man can never make the bed properly.
Man should not bother cleaning a mirror; it will only be done over by his wife. Apparently only women can see streaks.
Man is expected to be the furniture mover, but the arranging is always at the woman’s direction.
If a man attempts these chores he will be yelled at, “NO! I’ll get it!”
If a man does any of these chores when a woman is not looking, she will know and she will do them over.
Man should not do any of these “NO! I’ll get it!”chores.
However a smart man knows every once in a while to break the rules and cross the line. The chore will of course not be done to the woman’s standard and will be done over, but for some reason this pleases the wife. She will feign anger, but secretly she is pleased that there are some things that only she can do correctly.