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Sunday, July 14, 2013

Stupid Headlines 071413

Stupid Headlines 071413

It is time once again for:
 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

Political correctness run amuck!
 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 

 

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.
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The surprising cause of most 'spider bites' -  Spiders?

Woman declared 'dead' awakens just before doctors harvest her organs - Talk about your Grim Reaper!

Jodi Rose, Australian Artist, Marries 600-Year-Old French Bridge Le Pont du Diable - Those mixed marriages never work.

President Obama tells kids his favorite food is broccoli - Yeah, because kids will believe anything!

Why baggage should always be left behind in a plane crash - Good to know...also, as soon as you can, get your left and your right behind off the damn plane!

New Jersey man jumps from plane without a chute and survives! - Man credits his life with the fact the plane had not yet taken off.

New York school district issues reading list riddled with errors, including 'Great Gypsy' - I only read the Cleff Notes.

Impala eludes two hungry cheetahs by jumping into car full of tourists - Impala saved by an Impala?

Just Explain It: The Truth About Left-handed People - Ew era on tnereffid neht thgir dednah elpoep!

Smithfield Foods head addresses concerns over China takeover - Well yeah, that's a lot of people for a food company to take over!

Possible significant development in 1960s Boston strangler case, report says - I'm pretty sure Tony Curtis confessed to that!

Coca-Cola unveils new bottle made of ice - So to keep the bottle frozen the coke freezes and to drink the coke it has to melt, but then...Hey here is a good idea, lets change the formula for Classic Coke!

____________________________________
 
 
Last week's fake headline was:
 
Physicist proves water actually freezes at 31.99821 degrees Fahrenheit. – Clearly a result of global warming!
 
Last weeks only winner:
 
 
 
fishducky said...
This week I think it's Physicist proves water actually freezes at 31.99821 degrees Fahrenheit. I don't know what a "Wales date" is, either. I have to admit I don't understand New Jersey people!!
 
Ya just can't fool Fran!
Follow her funny stuff @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/
 
Many people last week were confused by this headline:
 
All Blacks survive US scare to set up Wales date – The US may still be a little racist, but come on…ALL BLACKS?
 
It referred to a rugby match with the New Zealand "All Blacks" (they wear all black uniforms) vrs. the USA with the winner to play the next match against Wales. 
 
 
 
 








9 comments:

  1. "Why baggage should always be left behind in a plane crash"

    Leave my souvenir black velvet picture of Elvis I got at Graceland? No way, baby!

    ReplyDelete
  2. okay, i'll try the impala.

    and thanks for the clarification from last week. go fishducky!

    ReplyDelete
  3. What's scary is I totally understood the "All Blacks" headline and I don't follow rugby.

    I'm goin' with Spider Bites.

    ReplyDelete
  4. As Maxwell Smart would say, "Would you believe I have actually NO idea?" You got me, Joe!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not that I'm any good at this, but the one about left-handed people doesn't sound plausible.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My guess is Possible significant development in 1960s Boston strangler case, report says

    ReplyDelete
  7. Okay, I'll take the New Jersey plane-jumping survivor as fake. I hope he celebrated with a dirty-water drink that he thought was actual alcohol.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am going with the New Jersey mana jumps from the plane as the fake. But the President Obama with the broccoli is temping to pick. But Bush one said he did not like it so I can see President Obama saying it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm going with the broccoli one. It's just too convenient a counter to the senior President Bush's declaration that he hated it.

    ReplyDelete

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