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Monday, July 22, 2013

SHARKNADO


SHARKNADO
 

Director:


Writer:


Stars:


 
Thursday, July 11, was a rainy day on the Jersey Shore.  I was stuck in a small seashore apartment with my son, Spencer, Mrs. Cranky, and step-crank Casey.  It would have been a miserable day except…The Syfy Channel was holding an all-day shark movie fest.

It started with “Mega Shark Vs. The Giant Octopus,” a must see as Spencer and I had watched it before.  We had to see the giant shark leap one mile out of the ocean to grab a 747 just one more time.

This classic was followed by “Swamp Shark,” “Super Shark,” Malibu Shark Attack,” and finally, the coup de grace, the long awaited premier of “Sharknado!”  What a way to pass a rainy day.

“Sharknado” was promoted all day.  We planned our dinner around “Sharknado.”  We were not disappointed.  This was the best bad movie EVER!

“Sharknado” staring Ian Ziering and Tara Reid and Cassie Scerbo is not to be believed.  In short, a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, and a series of tornados suck up and drop thousands of sharks on a terrorized populace.

In the must be seen to be believed final action scene, Ian Ziering is wielding a chain saw and chopping falling sharks in half.  A giant shark swallows him and his chain saw whole. 

Ian saws his way out of the sharks belly, and then goes back inside the shark to pull out Cassie Scerbo who had fallen out of a helicopter trying to stop the tornado with a bomb.

I KNOW!! 

That is as much as I will tell you, I don’t want to ruin this soon to be classic by giving away any more action.

What I want to know is how did anyone pitch this movie idea to a producer?

“I have an idea Bob, a tornado hits LA, and dumps thousands of sharks on the city.”

“Hmmm Thunder, let me think about that…er…ah…that has to be the STUPIDEST FREAKING IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD!...I’ll bet the Syfy Channel will buy it.”

Great lines from Sharknado:

Cassie in the helicopter surrounded by sharks in the tornado, “Were going to need a bigger helicopter.”  Sound familiar.

Cassie explaining scars on her leg.  She was fishing with her grandfather when the boat hit the rocks and sank among sharks, “So, six of us went into the water, I survived…sharks got the rest.” Quint anybody?

Anyway, all you wanna-be writers, and I know you are out there, do not be discouraged by all those rejections, all it takes is one good idea.  Like “SHARKNADO!”

11 comments:

  1. I just discovered Sharknado! I kept seeing it tagged on Twitter so last night I googled it and I spent the best hour on YouTube I have spent in awhile. OMG so good!!
    "We're going to need a bigger helicopter!"
    Also, can't believe this was actually on TV over there, right? Awesome!

    Also see:
    Possible sequels to Sharknado:
    http://9gag.com/gag/aG9wqZn

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  2. have heard so much about this silly movie. cult classic in the making, obviously.

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  3. You folks who can sit through that stuff should be written up, too.

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  4. Sharks get such a bad wrap. I know they make great villains but all this negative attention is compelling people to kill sharks indiscriminately and the oceans desperately need sharks. Even Peter Benchley regretting the shark hatred he caused.

    Now I'll get off my high horse and admit I have a bit of interest in seeing this movie since so many folks are talking about it.

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  5. Wow, am I glad you didn't reveal the ending!!

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  6. Hmmm--By the way, I meant you deserve your own movie, unless there is one already about people who watch shark marathons, like my sister watches NCIS marathons.

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  7. Umm....let me think. Root canal or Sharknado? Root canal...or Sharknado? I'll go with the root canal. ;)

    S

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  8. With Ian Ziering and Tara Reid, it HAS to be good!

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  9. Is this movie a comedy? or is it supposed to be serious? the lines that were copied from JAWS are a bit too much. It HAS to be a comedy!

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  10. I feel like everyone in the world is playing a prank on me. You're all in on it, and just trying to see how stupid and gullible I am. Because Sharknado doesn't exist. Surely.

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