THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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July 11, was a rainy day on the Jersey Shore.I was stuck in a small seashore apartment with my son, Spencer, Mrs.
Cranky, and step-crank Casey.It would
have been a miserable day except…The Syfy Channel was holding an all-day shark
with “Mega Shark Vs. The Giant Octopus,” a must see as Spencer and I had
watched it before.We had to see the
giant shark leap one mile out of the ocean to grab a 747 just one more time.
was followed by “Swamp Shark,” “Super Shark,” Malibu Shark Attack,” and
finally, the coup de grace, the long awaited premier of “Sharknado!”What a way to pass a rainy day.
was promoted all day.We planned our
dinner around “Sharknado.”We were not
disappointed.This was the best bad
“Sharknado” staring Ian Ziering and Tara Reid and Cassie Scerbo is not to
be believed.In short, a freak hurricane swamps
Los Angeles, and a series of tornados suck up and drop thousands of sharks on
a terrorized populace.
In the must be seen to be believed final action scene, Ian
Ziering is wielding a chain saw and chopping falling sharks in half.A giant shark swallows him and his chain saw
Ian saws his way out of the
sharks belly, and then goes back inside the shark to pull out Cassie Scerbo who
had fallen out of a helicopter trying to stop the tornado with a bomb. I KNOW!!
That is as much as I will tell you, I don’t want to ruin this
soon to be classic by giving away any more action.
What I want to know is how did anyone pitch this movie idea to a
“I have an idea Bob, a
tornado hits LA, and dumps thousands of sharks on the city.”
“Hmmm Thunder, let me
think about that…er…ah…that has to be the STUPIDEST
FREAKING IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD!...I’ll bet the Syfy Channel will buy it.”
Great lines from Sharknado:
Cassie in the helicopter surrounded by sharks in the tornado,
“Were going to need a bigger helicopter.”Sound familiar.
Cassie explaining scars on her leg.She was fishing with her grandfather when the
boat hit the rocks and sank among sharks, “So, six of us went into the water, I
survived…sharks got the rest.”Quint
Anyway, all you wanna-be writers, and I know you are out there,
do not be discouraged by all those rejections, all it takes is one good