This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Stupid Headlines 070713

Stupid Headlines 070713

It is time once again for:
Must have been an end of the month citation quota thing
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 


One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

Indian airline recruits female flight attendants to save money on fuel – I wonder how many miles to the gal they expect to get?

Helicopter makes hard landing in NYC's Hudson River – Talk about a polluted river.

All Blacks survive US scare to set up Wales date – The US may still be a little racist, but come on…ALL BLACKS?

Customer shoots, kills robber outside Atlanta shop while waiting to buy LeBron James sneakers – Like LeBron James isn’t wealthy enough, he has fans waiting to buy him sneaker?

University Tells Student to Remove Cross Necklace – Student was then told to uncross her legs, and when she got angry she was told to not be cross.

Physicist proves water actually freezes at 31.99821 degrees Fahrenheit. – Clearly a result of global warming!

Goats invade San Francisco airport to prevent fires – How do goats even hold hoses?

Hunterdon County investigators want to speak to motorist who left scene after causing wreck that injured cop - Oh, yeah, they just want's all.

Pa. mom whose baby was taken away for days over poppy seed drug test settles lawsuit – How can she expected to be a good mom after she tests positive for poppy seeds?

Giant, awesome ‘tree lobster’ survived 80 years in hidingDuh! When did you last see a lobster pot in an elm?


Last week’s fake headline was:

Secret ingredient in “Superglue” turns out to be…Oatmeal! -  Any mom could have told you that.



             fishducky said...

I'm pretty sure it's Secret ingredient in “Superglue” turns out to be…Oatmeal! (Although my turkey gravy would probably work, too!!)

Fran, I will fool you yet!!

 If you like to laugh go to Fran @

TexWisGirl said...   

this week i'm going with superglue! :)

Two in a row these are getting too easy…still great photos are to be found at

            Cindy Keen Reynders said...

Oh, my. This is too much fun!

Not even a guess? Well for saying something nice…

Visit Cindy @ Especially you authors out there.

             Lo said...

Oh, score again. My favorites were the Ipad and the shark...brilliant.
But I am entering this week and I pick the oatmeal. I've tried it and it just doesn't stick my fingers together like the real stuff.

This week’s fake was so easy even Lo got it and she believes anything! Go visit my favorite blogger the lovely Lo @

            Nina Gray said...

Hmmm is it the super glue?

Yes, yes it is.  Find Nina and interesting posts @  

            Val said...

I'm picking the Oatmeal Superglue. Even though oatmeal sticks to your ribs, I think there's a more secret ingredient to that glue.

Val and Fran…I’ll get you yet!!

If you like Seinfeld, 44 oz. Diet Coke and gas station chicken, then you will love the posts you find @


  1. Umm....what's a "Wales date"? Is that some kind of New Jersey thing? Is it something kinky? Does it involve farm animals?

  2. i'm with lowandslow. i didn't get that headline at all!


  3. Not to make too much fun of a tragedy---but I'm glad the goats were ready with their hoses to douse that fire at SFO.

  4. This week I think it's Physicist proves water actually freezes at 31.99821 degrees Fahrenheit. I don't know what a "Wales date" is, either. I have to admit I don't understand New Jersey people!!

  5. I understand these headlines ever since I bought a mobile home from an old lady with a new battery.

  6. You've got me totally baffled.....laughing but baffled.
    Not only do I have not a clue about the fake, I am completely flummoxed by Wales Date.
    Help us out here,'s not fair to make things too hard.

  7. I'm going with the poppy seed baby one as the fake story.

  8. I don't get that one about the "Wales date" either, but I'll pick the tree lobster as the fake. Everybody know lobsters are lousy at climbing trees.

    I missed last week's post, but I've heard of some oatmeal made by a sailor that was so thick and sticky, when the ship hit rough seas and the pot got knocked upside down onto the deck, none of the oatmeal came out of the pot. (True story!)

  9. To JJ: That's probably my problem--I think I need a new battery!!

  10. I say the Tree Lobster is fake. Isn't that what parents always tell their kids when they ask for lobster? "Lobsters don't grow on trees, you know."


I love comments, especially some of my commentors are funny as heck!

Currently only Google Account users can comment due to numerous annoying anonymous spam.

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!