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Monday, July 15, 2013

CHINESE FOOD - a Cranky re-run


CHINESE  FOOD

This re-run is from July 2012

Tonight Mrs. C. and I ordered Chinese food for dinner.  There are several reasons why we love Chinese food for dinner.  The food is delicious.  The food is inexpensive.  The food is ordered on the phone and delivered to your door.

There are drawbacks to Chinese food.

I used to call in my order and then pick it up at the restaurant.  I had to stop this because I couldn’t handle the 15 minute trip.  It was not a difficult drive except for the smell of Chinese food.  Fifteen minutes in a car with the smell if spare ribs, pork low mien, egg drop soup and chicken almandine wafting across my nostrils and taste buds is torture.  The smell caused me to speed, run lights and drive more distracted than a teenage girl texting Justin Bieber.  I almost had an accident several times. 

Now we order delivery.

Another drawback to Chinese food is for some reason I eat it like it is going to be taken away from me at any minute.  I don’t know why this is, but I shovel that chow in my mouth faster than an Olympic sprinter.  Egg roll…duck sauce…low mien…chew…spare rib…swallow…chew, chew, chew…egg drop soup…swallow…REPEAT.

Within fifteen minutes after the delivery, my stomach is busting and I am in pain. 
My taste buds are in heaven.

One of the best things about Chinese food is the duck sauce.  What is duck sauce?  I use it on everything.  I never have duck.  I once asked the proprietor of the local restaurant about this sauce.

“Why do they call it duck sauce?  Was it the invention of an man named Duc? Duc’s Sauce?”

“Sauce for duck.  Call duck sauce.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t developed by a Mister Duc?”

“SAUCE FOR DUCK!  SAUCE FOR DUCK! CALL DUCK SAUCE!!”

“It might be like the tape, duck tape isn’t for ducks.  Some call it duct tape, but the only thing it isn’t good for is ducts.  Did Mr. Duc invent the tape?

NO TAPE! SAUCE FOR DUCK…CALL DUCK SAUCE!!!

“OK, OK good to know.  Can I have some extra Duc’s sauce for my egg roll?”

“Sure, sauce for duck, very good on egg roll.”

13 comments:

  1. I'm gonna take your lead on this Cranky. I'm usually a sweet and sour guy....I don't remember ever having duct...er...duck sauce. I'll have to change that.

    S

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  2. i only eat fried rice and a few other dishes. but i don't like the sodium content!

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  3. ...and another good thing is the dinner for four will feed seven and you even get to make choices.

    Or, when everyone picks their favorite, there is enough food for three days.

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  4. Like TexWiseGirl, I wonder about the sodium; however, I convince myself that Chinese food twice a month is not going to kill me. But then there's all that other sodium-filled food I eat. Hmmm...

    Anyway, my family goes for shrimp egg foo young, General Tso's chicken, and low mein for my semi vegetarian kid. Our restaurant is only a 3 minute drive of yummy, waiting to eat, greasy food torture.

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  5. I am a duck (obviously) & I've never tried duck sauce. We usually have plum sauce on our egg rolls. I'll have to try it--I LOVE CHINESE FOOD!!

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  6. One of our favorite indulgences is chowing down at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. If you can't find something that tickles your taste buds there... there's gotta be sum ting wong wi choo.

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  7. I had a favorite Chinese restaurant
    I visited weekly
    The place must have been very successful
    The owner, Mr Lee, sold it and moved to San Francisco

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  8. I love Chinese food.....I think I hate Duck Sauce. (Is it the same as the stuff that comes with Muushu pork? If so, you can have my share.)

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  9. I LOVE Duck Sauce on an egg roll! Not one for the egg drop soup, though. Hot & Sour is my poison.

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  10. The reason that duck sauce is so good is there's opium in it. Just like that kettle corn at the farmer's market.

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  11. I alway eat mine really quickly too - I think its because I'm afraid if I don't finish first then someone might want to share mine - and I'm not sharing ...

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  12. Have you seen the movie "Mickey Blue Eyes"? It's nothing great, except for the owner of the Chinese Restaurant. I was imagining her voice when I read " Not tape! Sauce for Duck! Duck Sauce!"
    Chinese food is pretty good. Over here, the Thai food is even better. Not to mention Vietnamese...

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  13. The Chinese food is very good for health as it is cooked with the purpose of enhancing the health benefits, such as long life, healing powers and medicinal value.

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