STUPID HEADLINES 111812
The power is back and
so are Cranky’s Stupid Headlines of the week, my stupid headlines and stupider,
sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
Arizona woman runs down husband with car for not voting – Imagine if he voted the wrong way!
‘GIF’ named word of the year by
Oxford American Dictionary – Gif for Graphics Interchange
Format. Personally I voted for Adew - Acronyms Don’t Equal Words.
Ohio woman
who drove on sidewalk to avoid school bus holds 'idiot' sign under court order
– Idiots
protest Ohio woman carrying “Idiot” sign for insulting Idiots.
4 Surgeries to
Avoid – Neckectomy,
penilectomy, heart transplant from a Republican, brain transplant from a
Democrat.
Judge Judy celebrates 70th birthday
in white bikini – OK,
this one time I gotta disagree with Judge Judy!
North
Carolina judge nixes New Year's Eve possum drop – Judge rules with PETA and slowly lowering the possum in a cage is not
allowed. Strangely, it seems shooting
the little bugger between the eyes and dropping him from a tree at mid-night
New Year’s Eve would be within the law.
Holder,
Mueller face mounting questions on why Petraeus probe kept under wraps – "face mounting questions?" "Petraeus probe
under wraps?" Come on, this is just way too easy!
Senator-elect Angus King sides with
Democrats – Maine Senator Angus
King replaces Olympia Snowe…I don’t know a thing about their politics, but do
Maine politicians have GREAT NAMES or WHAT?
That's a mouthful: South Africa
police say man swallowed 220 diamonds – Talk about expensive taste!*
Ex-teacher says school officials told her to 'train' her
breasts to not make milk at work – Teacher’s breasts could roll over and sit up and beg, but they would not
stop making milk!
Rhode Island man's fake money had Lincoln's face instead
of Franklin's, police say – Other
than that it was a perfect counterfeit.
Cracker Jack’d: New version of Cracker Jacks to contain
caffeine – GreatalittlecaffeinewithaMonsterpowerdrinkloveitcauseyoucanthaveenoughenergydoIstillgetafreeprize?
Twinkies? Chris Christie Doesn't Want
No Stinkin' Twinkies – New Jersey Governor strongly denies he is Gay…not that it matters.
The world just keeps giving us material, doesn't it? Another funny post, funny man!!
ReplyDeleteomg, the Homicide Victims one cracked me up. You done did good on these. Wait, the newspapers done did good. You just found them for us.
ReplyDeleteThe highlight of the week
ReplyDelete...again
Lots of fun here, but that first one really made me laugh--homicide victims not talking to police. Dark, but I like it.
ReplyDeleteThe "Invisibility cloak now a reality" makes me think of the Emperor's New Clothes!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the grins. You can't make this stuff up. Well, even if you did truth is stranger than fiction.
ReplyDeleteLike Stephen I thought the first one was great, I always wondered why they never talked :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely love stopping over for your "Cranky" Stupid Headlines. Hilarious as always. Ya know on Gen Patraeus doesn't it seem really funny how that all came about in a weekend, and yet they still have no clue about the origins of the hacker group Anonymous? :) And dang there went my hopes of Possum Drop Soup on New Years Eve- dang Peta! :)
ReplyDeleteWell, of COURSE homicide victims don't talk to police; I mean, the guy already killed them; just imagine what he might do if they talked. . .
ReplyDeleteJudge Judy in a bikini. . . resisting the urge to poke my eyes out with knitting needles. . .
No, I really want to know about those 'mounting questions' and Petraeus' probe. . . OK, no I don't; not really. . .
As to the training of breasts, that 'sitting up and begging' thing is my favorite. . . They do make 'nursing pads' that catch the, uh, leakage, so it doesn't show on the clothes; my wife breast-fed eight kids, so I'm familiar with such things. . .
I've actually heard similar things, about employers telling folks that their father's funeral was really inconvenient right now, and could they please reschedule it?