THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Friday, November 9, 2012
I speak a
little Spanish; a word here and there.If spoken very slowly I might understand enough to get the gist
of a conversation. If I read Spanish I might be able to decipher enough words
to figure out what is being conveyed.Typical conversational Spanish not only leaves me out in the cold, but
often has me completely scratching my head.
think, “How does anyone understand when it is spoken so fast?”Then I realize those of us fluent in English
are guilty of the same confusing speech as are other language speaking peoples.
or phrases are particularly easy to confuse.
Airline/hairline: “Dude I got an airline fracture and it really hurts!”
You’re lucky to be alive.
Bruce/Bruise: “I get my hair done once a week by
Tidal surge/Title search: “The tidal surge on my house took three weeks.”
least you had plenty of time to clear out before the flood.
Hair weaves/Air waves: “Sometimes I just wish they would
take Donald Trump off the hair weaves
Hey, I think
it looks silly, but what he does with his head doesn’t bother me.
Hike/Kike: “He was so rude I told him to take a kike.”
not only rude, but a bit anti-Semitic!
Piss on/Piston: “It’s going to cost a lot to fix Mac;
you’ve got a blown piss on!”
think I would remember if my piss on
Fired/Hired: “You are doing a great job, I am so
glad you were fired.”
hardly seems fair at all.
Fission/Fishing: “My brother is an expert in nuclear fishing.”
I am a meatatarian. (I
know, but it sounds funnier to me than carnivore.)
Black ice/Black guys: “When the temperature drops in this
storm you have to be careful driving on the black guys.
Careful? I think
I’ll just drive around them, not on them!
are those phrases peculiar to certain areas of the country.If you are in New York you may speak perfect
English but might not understand this conversation:
“Hey, it is noon have you eaten yet?”
“No, did you?”
“No, let us go and eat.”
how are you doing?”
At work we had a secretary answer the
phone with this question,
“Mr. Brownsout, maskoozecallin?”
Brown is out; may I ask who is calling?”
Speaking a language fluently is not
always a good thing.