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Tuesday, July 5, 2011



I read a lot of blogs written by stay at home, and some working Moms (Mums across the ocean).  One consistent theme seems to be how difficult it is raising their children.  Mind you there is no bellyaching and most of these posts are funny as blazes.  They bring back memories hidden behind my left cerebellum where I expected to lose them.
These blogs do get me to thinking.  I have been visited this week (on my vacation) by all five of my grandchildren. Three are up from North Carolina.  There is Tommy, nine, a future lawyer, Halley, six, a future ballerina, and Graham, three,  a future politician.  Coming from Pennsylvania are Cole, two, a future violin player and Connor, one, and a future…hmmm we don’t know yet.  The Cranky Old Man, sixty-five and a future Wal-Mart greeter, is claiming that Grandchildren are harder than children.

I worry a lot more about my Grandchildren than I did about my children.  I grant you, if I misplaced one of my own children I would have been upset, but I would have only had my wife to deal with.  If you misplace a grandchild you have your wife, a DAUGHTER or SON, and a slew of in-laws to whom you owe some explaining.  I am pretty sure all these people would be really pissed off!  I would rather eat glass.  The pressure is much greater than when I had to watch my own. I watch these five as if they were paper money in a room full of Gypsies (that just cost me a follower, sorry Lola from Transylvania.)  
Children are easy to discipline.  It is your duty to spoil grandchildren; how can you discipline them?  Furthermore it is impossible to watch your daughter or son discipline the grandchildren.  They live hours away; I don’t get to see them that often.  When they are on time-out, I am on time-out.  I hate being on time-out.  (In my day time-out was time hiding out from the old man and his belt!  I loved my old man; his belt…not so much.)

My son and daughter have strange rules that I have to follow.  No soda, only give them organic food, no spanking, no duct taping their mouths shut, no whiskey to sooth teething.  They have to sleep on their back their first year, they must ride in car seats, and they wear helmets for riding anything on wheels.  These kids all have to wear shoes outside, they can’t play in the street and you can’t watch them if you are not sober.  So many rules, how can you remember them all?

Parents are immune to their children’s cuteness.  As a grandfather I am affected by giant grins, big hugs, tickling, teasing, jumping and skipping.   Crocodile tears kill me.  I know what these kids are doing, but I can’t help myself; I have to wave the white flag whenever I see these tears. 
Tommy is way too smart, Halley is a clone of her Mother, and Graham is a two year old little man.  Graham speaks a secret language which only Tommy and Halley can interpret.  Cole is a little sneak, but he is sooo cute, and Connor just started to walk.  These five are a delight, but they are way more difficult to watch and care for as a grandparent. 

It is hard enough worrying about my grandchildren, but I also have to worry about my son and daughter.  After all, they are not even forty.  What the Hell do they know about raising children?

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  1. So are you saying I should give my mom a break? I guess as a grandparent there is no harm in the grand-kids eating a giant bowl of M&M's in one sitting.
    If only I didn't have to take them home and pray they go to sleep at the end.
    But maybe we'll let the whiskey teething solution slide, that will most definitely put them to sleep.

  2. I must have it wrong somewhere. My parents (the grandparents) are th eones who say that the kids must wear a helmet when riding things with wheels, and are the ones telling me that healthy eating is the way to go. I wouldn't mind, but I am a Mum who cooks, I'm not an open the packet kind of cook either, I know all about veggies and fruit!!!!

    My G (middle child, eldest son) has been known in the past to say "Do we have to go to see Nana, she shouts a lot!" Although with my trip looming this Sunday he keeps asking if he can go and stay with Nana instead of staying home with his sister, A. Apparently she is a real tyrant and a bully, and makes Nana look tame.

    My parents do spoil the kids with presents like clothes and trips out, but they are immune to crocodile tears, and they pick up on stuff that just goes right over my head.

    We must have it wrong somewhere.

    Lou :-) xxx

  3. Loved this. I am taking my kids to my parents tomorrow and my daughter has just informed me that her "Nanny" is really old. My Mum is only 61 and was not amused....

    Hi from Multiple Mum's Rewind.

  4. Coming over from Weekend rewind. You made me laugh with this. Bet you are one hoot of a grandad.

  5. Hello! Loved this post (visiting from Weekend Rewind as well), very funny!

  6. You made me laugh out loud! I watch my mama and daddy with Darling Daughter and my nephews and wonder, why weren't they this cool when I was a little one? With a teen, we don't have as many rules but it's fun to watch my mother and father try to watch their mouths. Bubba doesn't even let them say "shoot" or "darn." For a couple of sailor mouthes that is pretty entertaining!

  7. Love your posts Cranky Old Man. I'm not sure how my parents trust their grandchildren with me either - what the hell do I know? I'm still waiting for the real parents to turn up. And suspect my parents are too.

    Visiting from the Rewind.

  8. i love your writing Mr Cranky. I have been determined for a little while, after much stress and over-parenting, to 'parent like a grandparent' for my kids. Now, where did I leave that whiskey?

  9. awww. That's spoken like a true, proud grandpa. And my goodness that's a house full!
    My parents, particularly my dad, is the same way. The child proofing that they just finally relinquished over there (E is now 6) was unreal.
    Foam adorned just about every hard surface in their house! haha
    But they felt the same way, as my dad put it, E would not get hurt "on their watch."

  10. Wait. We can't watch them if we're not sober?!

  11. Oh, yeah! I know exactly where you're coming from. And those kids of ours? How can mere children care for those pint-sized prizes we call grandchildren. Yes, so very much more to worry about as grandparents. (Though, thank God we're not responsible for the grandkiddos' teen years.)

    Hey, thanks for linking up in the GRAND Social. Great to see you there!

  12. I loved this! I guess I am just grateful that my three daughters don't mind my meddling in their parenting affairs. In fact they seem to like it when I point stuff out to them. I am free to hopelessly spoil my grandkids, but I think I will disappear when they become teenagers - at least for the girls. Been there, done that, wasn't too crazy about it!

  13. Stopping in from GrandSocial at Lisa's place. I laughed my way through this and found myself nodding recognition. Loved it.

  14. So glad you posted this on Lisa's "Grand Social." We grandpa bloggers are pretty thin on the ground so it's nice to find another one. I hope you will come visit mine.
    Things my Grandkids Should Know

  15. funnee stuff…i have a soft spot for grandpa bloogers. here from lisa's grand social.

  16. funnee…anyway, i have a soft spot for grandpa bloggers. here from lisa's grand social.

  17. You are so lucky to have so many grandchildren to spoil! Great post. Amara's Grampy is of the belief that there should be at least one person in her life who never says no and is ALWAYS on her side! SO very glad her parents don't make our life difficult -- no special diets and no sugar restrictions other than common sense. Of course Grampy thinks 3 dishes of ice cream makes perfect sense!

  18. I so enjoyed this post, Joe. I am the grandmother of 10, so just imagine how difficult my life is! :-) Seriously, though, with grandchildren joy is multiplied and so is sorrow, because you feel it for your children and your grandchildren. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything though.

  19. Here from the Grand Social, and you amigo ain't just whislin' La Guantanamera. Crocodile tears that would have had The Trio punished open up the Cookie Jar at Babushka's. Loving this stage of Vida. BB2U


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