Waking at night and having to pee;
These are the reasons I hate being me.
When the Yanks win, when I drink gin;
When I’m feeling glad.
I simply remember all of these crappy things;
And then I just feel so mad.
My seat at the movies next to a guy that is smelly.
My razor is rusty the aftershave stings;
These are some of my least favorite things.
And then I feel like shit! And I get really cranky, and I hate that fucking happy Julie Andrew’s whiskers on kittens shit!
Sorry, I’m running short on material.
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