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Saturday, April 30, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 050116


STUPID HEADLINES 050116

It is time again for

 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

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Caitlyn Jenner Says She's Kind Of "OK" With Gay Marriage – She’ll make up her mind as soon as he decides which team she his on.

Man paid prostitute with charity money and a primate – I didn’t know you could pay for monkey business with an actual monkey.

Feds spend $82K trying to create stuttering mice – Wha wha wha what?

New York pizzeria creates edible pizza out of pizza - Great idea except it tastes like cardboard.


People are paying up to $29G for the perfect baby name – For a couple of bucks they can have "Joe." 


House votes to designate bison as America's national mammal – About time congress gets down to something important.

City embeds traffic lights in sidewalk for smartphone users – Because we’re smart enough to use a phone, but too stupid to look up!

Zoo finds out gorilla is pregnant after the baby is born –
The worst veterinarian in the world has to work someplace.

Paris attack suspect's lawyers call him a 'little jerk' who's ready to talk "He has the intelligence of an empty ashtray," said Abdeslam's Belgian lawyer…an empty ashtray?  Isn’t this the same asshole that all of media described as the “Mastermind” after the attacks?

Police arrest Illinois woman in store theft after she crashes through ceiling – See woman can break through the glass ceiling, but I think you are supposed to break through on the way up, not down.

Birthday party for pothole gets Mississippi city to take action – I thought this was a pothead who was an asshole, but no, the party was for an actual pothole in the road.

Bobby Knight Endorses Donald Trump – Well, he threw his chair in the ring, does that count?

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Come back next week for more:

 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

18 comments:

  1. I'm not sure which one is the most stipid. They all rank right down there. Amazing world we live in. But they do give me a laugh.

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  2. "He has the intelligence of an empty ashtray."

    a/k/a How do you know your lawyer is not going to get you off the charges?

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  3. Your comments are FUNNIER than the headlines!!

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  4. Thanks for the laughs. Stuttering mice for 82K? I could make mice stutter for half that amount.

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  5. What fishducky said.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  6. Hard to pick my fave out of this group but the "monkey business" one and the "Mastermind/Empty ashtray" I think are tied but what a hoot it would've been to see that woman come crashing through the ceiling! :)

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  7. Ya done good again Joeh. Don't you sometimes wish you could come up with a useless idea which would guarantee a federal grant. I mean, it can't have any logic at all which is a bit hard.

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  8. Heeheehee! You always make me smile.

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  9. City embeds traffic lights in sidewalk for smartphone users <-- This actually was done in Augsburg, a city in Germany about 140 miles from my hometown. Isn't that crazy?

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  10. Good ol' chair-throwin' Bobby Knight! These days a coach can't frown at a player without repercussions.

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  11. Ok, the monkey business thing was really funny! I laughed so hard it hurt.

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  12. Great stuff, as always, Joe. I saw the story about the bison on a news show yesterday and had the exact same thought (my second thought was, "This is newsworthy?")

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  13. OK, I'm about to mark myself to the entire blog-o-sphere as a hopeless cretin, but when I read about the 'National Mammal', my first thought was, "Heck, they should rather name a National Mammary Gland; or, you know, a pair of 'em. . ."

    I know, I know. . . Just give me my 40 lashes and get it over with. . .

    And - Knight/Trump. . . hilarious. . .

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  14. So the drunk woman flying to Scotland demanded cigarettes and a parachute? Ummm...shouldn't she have asked for cigarettes and some MATCHES? Just sayin' :)

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  15. you rock like always ,stay blessed Joe

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  16. They're too ridiculous to be true and yet..

    Funnier still are your remarks. You never fail to evoke a few chuckles. As for the pregnant primate... I have a cousin (a nurse!) who found out she was pregnant when she went into labour. It didn't make headlines though. :)

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  17. Haven't seen you in a few days Joe. You OK?

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