I’ll Need A Thumb Print

I’ll Need A Thumb Print

We recently received a tax refund.  Getting a refund was a pleasant surprise, but last year I was good about making my quarterly payments and I actually overpaid, so it was refund time. We got some of our money back.

The check was made to both Mrs. Cranky and I and we went to Mrs. Cranky’s bank to deposit it. Mrs. C pays the bills; I just supply some of the money when needed.  Because the check was in both of our names, I had to go to the bank with Mrs. C.

You may ask, “Why do you have to go just to have your wife deposit a check in both your names?”

I don’t know. 

I only know that I have to, because we have danced this dance before.  Possibly it is because Mrs. C does not have my last name.  She kept her former married name just because it was easier and I don’t really give a crap.  It is just a name.

Anyway, I accompanied Mrs. C to the bank and we deposited the check in her account, but first I was asked for a picture ID. 

I suppose Mrs. C could have stolen the check to take the money without my knowledge, forged my name, and brought a stranger to imitate me, so I understood and gave the clerk my driver’s license which has my picture.  The clerk scanned the picture and scanned my face and decided we were one and the same.

I was then asked for a credit card.  I have no idea why they needed a credit card. 

Perhaps If Mrs. C had stolen the check to take the money without my knowledge, forged my name, and brought a stranger who looked just like me with a fake driver’s license to imitate me, the bank could trip up her scheme by asking for a credit card; so I handed the clerk a credit card.

This whole thing was starting to irritate me, so I asked,

“What if I didn’t have a credit card, would you not let us deposit this US Government check.”

“It’s just bank policy sir.” She replied as Mrs. C gave me an elbow to the ribs.

The clerk wrote down the card number on the check next to my signature and then passed a small ink pad to me and said, “I’m going to need a thumb print.”

“What!” This was followed by another Mrs. Cranky elbow to the ribs.

“What are you going to do with my thumb print?”

“Sorry sir, I’m just going to need your thumb print on the check…its bank policy.”

I pressed my thumb on the pad and gave up my thumb print…at least it did not leave inky stuff on my thumb.  The clerk deposited the check and handed us a receipt.

“Thank you” I said, “Just one more thing, I need to see your manager.”

I received another shot to the ribs along with a dirty look.

“Ah… sure…Lisa, do you have a minute?”

Lisa the manager came over.

“May I help you sir?”

"Yes" I said as I slid the receipt back, “I’m going to need your thumb print.”

“Excuse me?”

Mrs. Cranky gave me the hardest rib shot yet.

“You’re taking my money, it is just my policy.”

Before the manager could respond, Mrs. C grabbed the receipt and yanked me away by my shirt sleeve.

“Never mind…ignore him; sometimes he’s a jerk.”

I thought it was a legitimate request.