STUPID HEADLINES 050116
It is time again for
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Caitlyn Jenner Says She's Kind
Of "OK" With Gay Marriage –
She’ll make up her mind as soon as he decides which team she his on.
Man paid prostitute with charity money and a primate – I
didn’t know you could pay for monkey business with an actual monkey.
Feds spend $82K trying to create stuttering mice – Wha
wha wha what?
New York pizzeria creates edible pizza out of pizza - Great idea except it tastes like cardboard.
People are paying up to $29G for the perfect baby name – For a couple of bucks they can have "Joe."
House votes to designate bison as America's national mammal – About
time congress gets down to something important.
City embeds traffic lights in sidewalk for smartphone users – Because
we’re smart enough to use a phone, but too stupid to look up!
Zoo finds out gorilla is
pregnant after the baby is born –
The
worst veterinarian in the world has to work someplace.
Police arrest Illinois woman in store theft after she crashes through
ceiling – See woman can break through the glass
ceiling, but I think you are supposed to break through on the way up, not down.
Birthday party for pothole gets Mississippi city to take action – I
thought this was a pothead who was an asshole, but no, the party was for an
actual pothole in the road.
Bobby Knight
Endorses Donald Trump – Well, he threw his chair in the ring, does that
count?
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Come back next week for more:
I'm not sure which one is the most stipid. They all rank right down there. Amazing world we live in. But they do give me a laugh.
ReplyDelete"He has the intelligence of an empty ashtray."
ReplyDeletea/k/a How do you know your lawyer is not going to get you off the charges?
Your comments are FUNNIER than the headlines!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs. Stuttering mice for 82K? I could make mice stutter for half that amount.
ReplyDeleteWhat fishducky said.
ReplyDeleteI linked you to Silly Sunday.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
Hard to pick my fave out of this group but the "monkey business" one and the "Mastermind/Empty ashtray" I think are tied but what a hoot it would've been to see that woman come crashing through the ceiling! :)
ReplyDeleteYa done good again Joeh. Don't you sometimes wish you could come up with a useless idea which would guarantee a federal grant. I mean, it can't have any logic at all which is a bit hard.
ReplyDeleteHeeheehee! You always make me smile.
ReplyDeleteCity embeds traffic lights in sidewalk for smartphone users <-- This actually was done in Augsburg, a city in Germany about 140 miles from my hometown. Isn't that crazy?
ReplyDeleteGood ol' chair-throwin' Bobby Knight! These days a coach can't frown at a player without repercussions.
ReplyDeleteOk, the monkey business thing was really funny! I laughed so hard it hurt.
ReplyDeleteEdible pizza...what a concept!!
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff, as always, Joe. I saw the story about the bison on a news show yesterday and had the exact same thought (my second thought was, "This is newsworthy?")
ReplyDeleteOK, I'm about to mark myself to the entire blog-o-sphere as a hopeless cretin, but when I read about the 'National Mammal', my first thought was, "Heck, they should rather name a National Mammary Gland; or, you know, a pair of 'em. . ."
ReplyDeleteI know, I know. . . Just give me my 40 lashes and get it over with. . .
And - Knight/Trump. . . hilarious. . .
So the drunk woman flying to Scotland demanded cigarettes and a parachute? Ummm...shouldn't she have asked for cigarettes and some MATCHES? Just sayin' :)
ReplyDeleteyou rock like always ,stay blessed Joe
ReplyDeleteThey're too ridiculous to be true and yet..
ReplyDeleteFunnier still are your remarks. You never fail to evoke a few chuckles. As for the pregnant primate... I have a cousin (a nurse!) who found out she was pregnant when she went into labour. It didn't make headlines though. :)
Haven't seen you in a few days Joe. You OK?
ReplyDelete