NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

MOMMY PORN

MOMMY PORN


So I was looking for a good book while on my “Change of Venue” down at the Jersey Shore and I happened upon the title “Fifty Shades of Gray.”  I have always been interested in dull colors, so I downloaded this book onto my Nook.

OMG…this book is not about dull colors at all.  It has almost no discernible plot, and based on pages 116, 218, and 276 it might be pornographic.  It might be except the porn is as dull as the title.  Apparently this book is all the rage.  It is called Mommy Porn as it seems to be just literary enough for respectable moms to read without any guilt, but clearly its sole purpose is titillation.

I guess “Fifty Shades” can be a titillating book, but compared to a guy’s porn book like “Lulu Does Everything With Everybody” it is indeed very mild.  In “Lulu” the good parts are on pages 3-326.  I suggest you skip 1 and 2 and the last page, 327, is also boring.

“Fifty Shades of Gray” is to porn as a Sloe Gin fizz is to drinking.  It will get you there but it takes a long time and there is a good chance you will feel a bit sick in the morning.


Spamholes are at it again so comment verification is back on. 

14 comments:

  1. So, is this "Lulu Does Everything With Everybody" available on Amazon? Does it come with a free defibrillator session? Sounds promising.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  2. :-)

    Having gotten drunk my first time (ninth grade!) in sloe gin fizz, this critique resonates with me; and as suspected, I will be passing on "Fifty Shades of Gray".

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'd heard this book was erotic but with a title like Fifty Shades of Gray I assumed it was about old hookers in a nursing home.

    ReplyDelete
  4. All the talk has been about this book, so I got it on my Kindle. Ugh, I hate it. WHY do women adore this Christian Grey character? I honestly find Edward Cullen from Twilight more erotic, with his old-fashioned morals. He might be a vampire, but at least he knows how to treat a woman with respect, both in and out of the bedroom.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This book made the early morning news today. Apparantly, the boyfriend of some girl got so fed up with her reading it that he covered her with HP sauce from h ead to toe. The headline in the paper read Fifty Shades of brown . The boyfrien has been arrested and charged with assault...

    ReplyDelete
  6. So glad I'm not the only who couldn't get into this book.... All the females around me think I'm crazy that I'm not reading the book - when they read it in a day....... (just not robust enough, in my opinion ..... LOL)

    ReplyDelete
  7. What's the difference between Grey and Gray?

    ReplyDelete
  8. HAHA! I'm about to embark on book three of the trilogy! I admit the BDSM sex was not the eye opener I was hoping for - but I still had fun reading it! We selected it for last months book club and it was a fifty/fifty split love/hate (a bit like Marmite)!

    ReplyDelete
  9. My husband never reads a book.. but I bet if I bought him LuLu does everything to everyone he would! haha

    Not jumped on the shades of grey bandwagon.. awaiting until the hype dies down a lil and then I'll see about reading..

    Im only halfway through The Help (thats how behind in all the rage books I am!)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm about 2/3 of the way through the first book and it is terrible, but I can't put it down - I want to know what happens! I stupidly jumped on the Twilight bandwagon too... sign {at my own stupidity}...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have refused to jump on the bandwagon so far, though I am intrigued by what all the fuss is about, and having spoken to my MIL about it, I may be to read it.
    Though the thought of her being turned in is a little hard to swallow.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I will confess! I bought the book just yesterday! And yes...it's taking me a long time to get there :-/ But that's nothing new, anyway ;)

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!