HEADLINES 071512

HEADLINES 071512

It’s Sunday time for Cranky’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments

Saudi man dies after chase by religious police – Man killed, son is in a coma, and the wife lost an arm in a confrontation caused because the family’s car radio was too loud.  Can you say “BACKWARD?”

Romney Says There's Nothing Hidden in His Unreleased Tax Returns – Well then, I guess that will put an end to the discussion.

3,000-year-old ‘Frankenstein’ mummies discovered in Scotland – Upon making the discovery, Archeologists Bud Abbot, Lou Costello and Steven Fetchit said, “Feets don’t leave me now!”  

$3.2 million yacht sinks in Lake Tahoe marina – Who doesn’t enjoy a good story about bad shit happening to a super-rich person?

Outrage over Lennox: Dog put to sleep for looking like a pit bull in Northern Ireland – Just looked in the mirror…cancel plans to visit Northern Ireland.

Pakistan shuns physicist linked to 'God particle' because of religious beliefs - Country demands the scientific discovery be named the “Allah Thingy.”

NYC adding free Wi-Fi hotspots to payphones – How much do the payphones charge for the free hotspots?

For Some Men, Propecia's Sexual Side Effects May Be Long-lasting – The long-lasting side effects are not long and never lasting.  OR  “Hair today no dong tomorrow!”

Boyfriend assaults girlfriend with steak sauce over ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ – I guess that’s one way to spice up this porn snooze fest.

Prisoner Files Lawsuit after Denied Jigsaw Puzzle in Jail – A saw in prison…really?

World record set as driver catches golf ball in car going 120 mph – Golfer waits for ball to stop moving before hitting his second shot.

British newspaper demands it simply stop raining – Global Warning?