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Sunday, July 15, 2012

HEADLINES 071512

HEADLINES 071512


It’s Sunday time for Cranky’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments

Saudi man dies after chase by religious police – Man killed, son is in a coma, and the wife lost an arm in a confrontation caused because the family’s car radio was too loud.  Can you say “BACKWARD?”

Romney Says There's Nothing Hidden in His Unreleased Tax Returns – Well then, I guess that will put an end to the discussion.

3,000-year-old ‘Frankenstein’ mummies discovered in ScotlandUpon making the discovery, Archeologists Bud Abbot, Lou Costello and Steven Fetchit said, “Feets don’t leave me now!”  

$3.2 million yacht sinks in Lake Tahoe marina – Who doesn’t enjoy a good story about bad shit happening to a super-rich person?

Outrage over Lennox: Dog put to sleep for looking like a pit bull in Northern Ireland – Just looked in the mirror…cancel plans to visit Northern Ireland.

Pakistan shuns physicist linked to 'God particle' because of religious beliefs - Country demands the scientific discovery be named the “Allah Thingy.”

NYC adding free Wi-Fi hotspots to payphones – How much do the payphones charge for the free hotspots?

For Some Men, Propecia's Sexual Side Effects May Be Long-lasting – The long-lasting side effects are not long and never lasting.  OR  “Hair today no dong tomorrow!”

Boyfriend assaults girlfriend with steak sauce over ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ – I guess that’s one way to spice up this porn snooze fest.

Prisoner Files Lawsuit after Denied Jigsaw Puzzle in Jail – A saw in prison…really?

World record set as driver catches golf ball in car going 120 mph – Golfer waits for ball to stop moving before hitting his second shot.
British newspaper demands it simply stop raining – Global Warning?

3 comments:

  1. "Pakistan shuns physicist linked to 'God particle' because of religious beliefs"....Allah thingy. Hahaha!

    Allah sadly admits his 1500 years of fame are over.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hair today no dong tomorrow? Good one.
    I'll stick with my comb-over.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those were all impressively stupid, but the headline re: Colon takes the cake. Who the hell approved that?!!

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete

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