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Sunday, July 8, 2012

HEADLINES 070812

HEADLINES 070812
It is Sunday!! Time for Cranky’s silly headlines and my even stupider, sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.


Woman rushes to hospital with stomach pain — and docs find and remove 51 POUND TUMOR – Most people generally notice a problem after the tumor reaches 47 pounds.

In North Korea, learning to hate U.S. starts with children – This is why we are falling behind in our country.  We don’t start learning to hate the U.S. until college.

Book printed with disappearing ink eventually goes blank – Experts determined that is because it is printed with DISAPEARING INK!

Tom Cruise and 33: Strange connections between the number, his wives and Scientology? – Rolling Rock Beer?



The Army is Building a Secret Island in the Chesapeake Bay – This is a headline?…HELLO…it’s a SECRET!

Police say potato chip trail led to Pennsylvania burglary suspect – “Whafft? I dinfft do nofftin?”

Crossroads GPS sinks $25 million into anti-Obama ads – Recalculating?

North Korea's New Image Shaped by Platform Shoes, Earrings and Cell Phones – North Koreans were kinda hoping for FOOD!

'Pair of lungs' found on Los Angeles sidewalk sparks investigation – Police expect to find a very sick heavy smoker soon.

Doctor removes five inch live worm from man's eye – This explains why he never saw his wife’s 51 POUND TUMOR!!

Octopus hitches ride on dolphin's genitals – Flipper has eight “happy endings.”
Jeffrey Stern Made Mistress Talk Murder During Sex – Yeah…so…is that wrong?



Comment verification has been temporarily reinstated due to really annoying spamer.

 

6 comments:

  1. My broher told me what the 33 on Rolling Rock really means. But, I've forgotten and he's been dead for years.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Now North Korean women can harvest tree bark and dig for roots in style.

    Dear Leader will be so proud!

    S

    PS...what is it with this garbled authentication code we're supposed to decipher? Just lemme in. I promise I won't stalk you. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Liked the one about the "joint committee."

    ReplyDelete
  4. literally: LOL!

    I think i'll look back here again...
    (thanks Hil / smitten image :)


    Wishing you a pleasant week with
    Aloha from Waikiki
    Comfort Spiral
    > < } } ( ° >

    > < } } (°>

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Doctor removes five inch live worm from man's eye – This explains why he never saw his wife’s 51 POUND TUMOR!!"

    YOU ARE SO FUNNY! Love it, love it.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

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