It’s Is All Mom’s Fault
As a Mother's Day post, this re-run reminding that for all the things you great Moms do, you also get to take the blame for your children's short comings...someone has to!
We still love you.
Miss you Mom!
Something I read recently reminded me of my mom. Mom, like most moms, was great in many ways, but she did have one trait that bugged me no end. She always had something good to say about everyone.
That doesn’t sound like a bad trait, does it? Let me put it in context.
A seven-year-old boy comes home all grumpy and Mom asks,
“What’s wrong?”
“Billy Andrews kicked me in the shin for no reason!”
“Well, maybe he was just having a bad day, he’s usually a nice boy…he’s going to be a baseball player you know.”
Who does that? What mom does not unleash some righteous anger at her son’s tormentor. Plus, she had to throw in that baseball player stuff. That’s another thing…I had to compete with what other mothers said their kid was going to be! How do you compete with what someone is going to be?
As a pre-teen, you come home from school dejected about a grade on a composition.
“What’s wrong?”
“Mrs. Gromawitz gave me a B on my paper because I misspelled two words.”
“Well, spelling is important, and you know Mrs. Gromawitz daughter is going to be a famous author and she is a very good speller.”
Crap, not what I wanted to hear. Hell, I was a bad speller, have always been a bad speller and always will be a bad speller. Hearing how important spelling is was like telling a slow runner he would always suck at sports.
A teenage Cranky gets off the phone looking disappointed.
“What’s wrong.”
“That stuck-up Cathy Brown can’t go to the dance, says she thinks she'll be busy.”
“Well she probably has to wash her hair that night…she’s going to be a movie star you know.”
ARRRRGH!!
I think that this is why I am so cranky. If I was angry, judged unfairly, or shot down, mom always made excuses. Maybe if she just stood up for her son, expressed a little righteous indignation on my behalf, I would not have any pent up anger which has manifested itself into crankiness.
ARRRRGH!!
I think that this is why I am so cranky. If I was angry, judged unfairly, or shot down, mom always made excuses. Maybe if she just stood up for her son, expressed a little righteous indignation on my behalf, I would not have any pent up anger which has manifested itself into crankiness.
Maybe if I didn’t have to live up to the high achievements my peers were going to reach I would have been more successful myself. Hell, why even try; who can compete with what someone else is going to be?
Well this has been very enlightening. All my issues are the fault of my mom. It is good to get this off my chest and to realize any of my short comings are not my fault.
I guess I’ll get off the couch now and go yell at something on the TV.
I remember when my kids would come home angry about anything anyone had done and I usually sympathised then asked "did they give any reason for what they did?" and sometimes there was a reason and sometimes there wasn't, so probably more than a few times I would have said, maybe he/she is just having a bad day, you never know what else is going on there. But I don't remember ever saying what someone else was going to be when they grew up. So now I want to know, did those kids grow up to be what your mum said they would be?
ReplyDeleteHeck no! Most are bigger losers than me.
DeleteARRRRGH!! Me too, I could never do right for doing wrong but praise went to playmates all the time grrr!
ReplyDeleteWait a minute......baseball player, author, movie star?? I'm wondering if your mom was being sarcastic??
ReplyDeleteDid any of those kids live up to the potential that your mom had for them?
ReplyDeleteMoms, they are often more appreciated when they are no longer with us.
betty
Moms are expected to be perfect and blamed for all of the children's problems when they are not. That's okay, we love our kids anyway, and somebody has to mess you up!
ReplyDeleteMy mom always made excuses for other people, too. I'm kind of cranky. I think your theory must be right! My mom never predicted what anyone was going to do in the future, though. Your mom was way more advanced!
ReplyDeleteSounds like someone needs a hug and trophy for participating in childhood. (Your Mom sounds like a good one!)
ReplyDeleteYou are so bad for blaming your mom for your faults dear Joe :)))
ReplyDeleteactually you had ONE OF THE BEST LADY AS MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she was such a angle to think about others as deeply and cared for their feelings though they did not deserve her sweetness may be
Still she did not pump anger in you and filled your heart with hatter for others
i am not as kind as your dear mom was still i never ask kids to react negatively and thank God that they are usually succeed in making good friends
Happy mother's day my friend!
Yeah, she'd probably say something nice about Lloyd Braun, too!
ReplyDelete