Wednesday, May 1, 2019
The Name Game
The Name Game
However, today I am fired up again on a subject which might very well offend some folks, but as readership has fallen dramatically I am probably safe.
I do not get the name thing. Children no longer get the old time-worn names of my generation, Bob, Frank, Mary, Joyce…you know the names. I do understand that. Hell, at some point with so many Bob, Frank, Mary and Joyce’s, it gets difficult to give your child a name that does not evoke the memory of a person you’d rather not have evoked on a constant basis.
Thus Bob, Frank, Mary, Joyce were abandoned for Keith, Kyle, Amber and April. Fine names all. Then after a bit people started going back to really old names, Zack, Caleb, Lily, Emily, names so old they carry no negative memories.
I am now noticing an even newer name game. The latest thing is using the same old names of previous generations, but changing the spelling.
Joanna becomes Johannah. Ken becomes Kenn. Mary becomes Meri or Merry or Merrie. Why would you name a child Jhonny instead of Johnny? Why would you change Sally to Salie? Why would you make Anthony, Anphreny? What purpose is there to change Cassandra to Kassandra or even Kassandrah?
Every time this poor child has to give their name to a teacher or employer or to anyone, they have to explain,
“No, that’s Alexx with two x’s. Or No, not Susan, that’s Susan with a T, Tsusan…the T is silent.”
If you want your child to have a unique name, that is wonderful. Name the child, Apple, or Tree or Luggage; how about Emperor? At least people would remember and would know how to spell the name.
For anyone who has committed this crime of spelling a common name uniquely, sorry, but this is only what everyone who meets your child is silently thinking to themselves. Your friends will tell you the name is cute.
“Oh, I love the name Tommy and to spell it Tahomee is so clever!”
No, they don’t love it, they think it is stupid too…I am just the messenger.
Life is tough enough, don’t make it tougher by saddling your child with a common name spelled stupid!
BTW, I am changing my name from Joe to Jhoez…the h and the z are silent. I can’t wait to correct people with that irritating corrective voice,
“NO! That’s J H O E Z; why doesn’t anyone ever get it right?”