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Wednesday, May 1, 2019

The Name Game

The Name Game
I’m going back to my Cranky roots.  When I started this blog eight years ago, I was perhaps a step above Cranky.  Times I was probably a little mean.  I posted on things that could be offensive to some people.  I could do that with impunity as I had almost no readers.  Well eventually enough people read my posts that I was occasionally able to offend some people.  I offended some nice people and that made me uncomfortable.  I did not like that.

However, today I am fired up again on a subject which might very well offend some folks, but as readership has fallen dramatically I am probably safe.


I do not get the name thing.  Children no longer get the old time-worn names of my generation, Bob, Frank, Mary, Joyce…you know the names.  I do understand that.  Hell, at some point with so many Bob, Frank, Mary and Joyce’s, it gets difficult to give your child a name that does not evoke the memory of a person you’d rather not have evoked on a constant basis.

Thus Bob, Frank, Mary, Joyce were abandoned for Keith, Kyle, Amber and April.  Fine names all.  Then after a bit people started going back to really old names, Zack, Caleb, Lily, Emily, names so old they carry no negative memories.

I am now noticing an even newer name game. The latest thing is using the same old names of previous generations, but changing the spelling.
Joanna becomes Johannah.  Ken becomes Kenn.  Mary becomes Meri or Merry or Merrie.  Why would you name a child Jhonny instead of Johnny?  Why would you change Sally to Salie? Why would you make Anthony, Anphreny? What purpose is there to change Cassandra to Kassandra or even Kassandrah?

Every time this poor child has to give their name to a teacher or employer or to anyone, they have to explain,

“No, that’s Alexx with two x’s.  Or No, not Susan, that’s Susan with a T, Tsusan…the T is silent.”

If you want your child to have a unique name, that is wonderful.  Name the child, Apple, or Tree or Luggage; how about Emperor?  At least people would remember and would know how to spell the name.

For anyone who has committed this crime of spelling a common name uniquely, sorry, but this is only what everyone who meets your child is silently thinking to themselves.  Your friends will tell you the name is cute. 

“Oh, I love the name Tommy and to spell it Tahomee is so clever!”

No, they don’t love it, they think it is stupid too…I am just the messenger.

Life is tough enough, don’t make it tougher by saddling your child with a common name spelled stupid!

BTW, I am changing my name from Joe to Jhoez…the h and the z are silent.  I can’t wait to correct people with that irritating corrective voice,

“NO! That’s J H O E Z; why doesn’t anyone ever get it right?”


  1. My first grandchild will be born in October and so far, name choices and spellings are typical enough. I, on the other hand, am trying to decide what name I want as a grandmother. And it will probably differ somewhat from the norm. ;)

  2. Well done, Jhoez. I constantly struggle with my last name. You can pronounce it the French way or the American way, but there is still only one R when you spell it. I really don't know why so many people want to be so generous with the Rs.

  3. I don't get the spelling change thing either. Good luck to those poor kids.

  4. I'm kind of surprised there aren't more Moon Units and Dweezils. I guess that's not unique enough. Maybe they could spell it Mune Yoonut and Dwheezle.

  5. Some are a stretch and then some. Whatever is all I have to say. I'm going to still call you Joe and I'll spell it, JOE!

    Have a fabulous day. 😎

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    3. Oops, made the mistake of actually reading a comment from a known troll asshole. Thought he might have changed, but no, he turned a silly post about child naming into a political dog fight. My mistake in reading it, then commenting on it...I deleted all, not worth the effort, this person will not change, I suspect he is a bit miserable, I don't need that negativity in my life, after some bad shit, things are way good in my life these days.

  7. My kids got common names, spelled the traditional way, and if they wanted odd nicknames, i told them to get those from their friends. My name has a y where most people use an i, and i've suffered for it, so i didn't do that to my kids.

  8. SWMBO named her daughters "Caryn", with a "Y"; and "Gayle", also with a "Y". Me, she just said, "Y" not.

  9. Flashback to 1984. My youngest son is born. My hubby picked the name out. Jordan. Not common back then and I thought it was kind of cool. Sitting quietly feeding my little darling there happened to be a basketball game on TV. Michael Jordan was playing. I didn't know who he was and didn't care except I looked at hubby and said: "You named our child after a basketball player?" Hubby: "No I didn't". Me: "Really? What's our son's name". He: "Jordan". Me: "What's his middle name?" He: "Michael"...I rest my case.

  10. When naming the wee one, his mom decided to keep the theme of his name starting with the first two letters of his sister's name (different father than my son). Because the daughter has a pretty, but unique name that you are never going to find on a coffee mug at Disneyland or a magnet, etc., I was pretty worried with what they were going to come up with. Thankfully, his name is a "normal" name that they spelled the conventional way. I can't tell you, seriously I can't because it will violate HIPAA, of the weird spellings of names I've seen for patients' names. I can only say "I'm so sorry your parents did this to you." Keep it simple, keep it spelled the correct way or not too many deviations, and don't include an apostrophe in it. I'm thinking "how do these kids learn to spell their name? O apostrophe (imagine a child of 4-5 saying apostrophe) and then the rest of the letters?" Poor kids!


  11. I agree with you Jhoez. People do name their children most peculiar names. I remember a girl called Crystal Lear. Nothing wrong with that. Until she got her degree at University and her full name was read out loud - Crystal Shandy Lear.

    I have named my children, "Sit", "Shut up", and "Stupid". Some people call their children after the place where they were conceived, like "Brooklyn". I did not do that because I thought, "The frozen food aisle at the supermarket" is too long a name.

    God bless.

  12. Weird spelling of common names irritates me too. Everyone wants their child to be unique, but using the name to do that is not the right way. Sorry, all you 'fancy' spellers out there. My name is not at all "fancy" but I still had to spend my school years spelling it to each new teacher, then telling them it is pronounced exactly as it is spelled.
    Even common names with plain spelling can be troublesome though. My first son got a name I hadn't heard on anyone else my whole life, then we moved to a new city and he started school. His teacher had five boys in the class all with that name. (*~*)

  13. Had to smile at your take on this subject. It took me back to when my lad was a youngster. I named him JON thinking it would be easier for him to remember when he started school. But No, every teacher tried to convince him he had missed out an H, or couldn't spell Jonathon!. In the end, when he came home in tears, I flew to the school to reprimand all those concerned and every one looked at me as though I was crazy. That was over fifty years ago, goodness only knows what it's like now with all the weird names the kids have.

  14. Our daughter named our grand daughter atter my Mom but spelled it WRONG.......she said she did it on purpose but......

  15. I liked the old days when you named your kid after your rich uncle hoping for the best.

  16. In Germany you cannot name your kid just any old name you make up. There is a list, and anything outside this list must be approved after you give many reasons why this unusual name that you picked is a proper name. For example, you couldn't name your kid "Apple" because Gwynneth Paltrow did it - you'd need at least three or four other examples.

    So my name was on this list...and then the person who filled out my birth certificate spelled it wrong. At the time it was still a somewhat unusual name and that's how the error was made.

    I spent all of my school years saying, "It's Pixel with one 'x'!"


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