THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Thursday, May 16, 2019
Baby I Can Drive My Car
Baby I Can Drive My Car or HELP...either one
When I was
younger, so much younger than today, everyone, bragged about, how fast they could make their way. Those days are gone, so I find, I'm driving really slow. Now I find, I'll lose the time, for mileage that will grow. Typical comment back in the day:
“I made it from New Brunswick to
Atlantic City in an hour and forty-five!Oh yeah, I had the hammer down on the Garden State Parkway from exit 105 to 38, then caught every light from the Parkway to AC. Beat my old record by 12
It did not
matter if you were in a hurry or not, getting from point A to point B in record
time was everyone’s goal.Speeding,
weaving in and out of traffic, running the amber to beat the red light was
standard practice.Getting stuck behind
a slow truck was infuriating.Bad
weather or a traffic jam would kill a record time.
Yes, we were
reckless, crazy.We had all the time in
the world, but were always in a hurry, always wanting to brag, “You wouldn’t believe the time we made!”
Ah, that was
years ago, Mrs. C and I drive a little differently these days.
Our new car
keeps a running total of the MPG on a trip.The car advertises 30 MPG on average.We no longer are concerned with the time on a trip, now it is trying to
break the MPG record.
Driving now involves
coasting whenever possible.It is
important to accelerate slowly, stomping on the gas pedal ruins your average
takes a lot of strategy.
approaching a traffic light; did it just turn green?Will I make it?Should I slow down and coast because I can’t
make the light, or should I step on it and try to beat the light?Will making the light make up for wasted gas
by excessive acceleration?
easy.Driving with one eye on the road
and another on the MPG calculator to maximize efficiency is risky, but the
reward, beating the manufacturer’s suggested mileage, is somehow worth it.
record for highest MPG is 38.Mrs. C
holds that record.My best is 36.A trip must be at least 20 miles to be
day we went to my grandson’s first Holy Communion, a one hour forty-minute
trip.When we arrived, my son asked how
long it took us.
“Two hours and ten minutes.”
“Two hours and ten?I make it to your house in under an hour and a half!”
“Yeah, but we did it at 34.5 MPG!” "You need HELP!" "Maybe, but baby I can drive my car."