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Thursday, May 2, 2019

It Is Only Money


It Is Only Money
Do you have stupid money?  Stupid money is money spent on crap, wait, make that wasted on crap, simply because you have the money to waste.  There is some status for some people with having stupid money. 

Apparently if you spend stupid money, other people think, “WOW, he can afford to waste money on stupid stuff!”  Some people are impressed with stupid money.

I think it is stupid!

The most recent example of stupid money I have seen is an exercise bike.  A Peleton stationary bike costs $2300.  I guess that is not a LOT of stupid money, but it definitely is stupid money. 

I remember when a stationary exercise bike cost about $80.  Granted they were not particularly fancy.  You increased pedal resistance to get a better workout by forcing a tennis ball against the wheel.

I’m pretty sure the Peleton has a more sophisticated resistance system.  Then, resistance is just resistance, it should not be expensive.  I’m sure Peleton has fancy controls and will estimate speed, fake miles ridden , and calories burnt…all that really important stuff…actually not really that important, certainly not worth an extra $2220, unless of course you have stupid money and are…stupid!

What I really find interesting about the Peleton is for only $40 a month you can go on-line and have a buff trainer yell at you.

Yes, while you pedal your ass off, you can have on screen a buff trainer telling you, “Come on, you can do it, one more mile…come on, I’ve got your back!”

Forty bucks a month to have someone yell at you while you sweat.  That is the very definition of stupid money.

I have an offer for anyone wanting to throw away some stupid money. Throw it away in my direction. 

For only $10 a month I will be on call to yell at you while you sweat.  You call and you can watch me sitting on my fat ass with a glass of scotch and a fine cigar and I will yell at you between sips and puffs.

“Pedal you dweeb!  Do you want to be a fat bastard like me? Come on, you can do it… (takes a sip and a puff) come on, I’ve got your back and it is way fat!  You see what might happen if you don’t keep pedaling? Look at me! Now come on!”

Granted that seems stupid, but we are talking about stupid money. 

Come to think of it, since it is stupid money, I’ll yell at you for $60 a month, after all, the stupider the money, the greater the status.

13 comments:

  1. Have you seen the commercial for the mirror that has you exercise while looking into it and it yells at you? Wait, isn't that "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest (fattest)of us all?"

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  2. No way would I pay someone to "encourage" me this way in my exercise routine and push me to go faster, etc. I prefer to set my own goals and push myself rather than have someone do that for me. I didn't realize these bikes were that expensive. No way do I have that type of money to spend on something like this. I'll stick with my under a thousand dollar treadmill.

    betty

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  3. My daughter had one of those super cheap old style exercise bikes, she hired it from somewhere and kept it so long they eventually told her to keep it, it came in very handy for hanging jackets and handbags on. More recently, my ex wanted one and bought the cheapest he could find, about $1000 and let me tell you the price isn't the only thing that is bigger. The bike is huge, computerised and takes up about a third of his available floor space.

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  4. I am not stupid. I have a stationary bike fitted upfront by the handlebars with a doughnut and French fries dispenser. Also milkshakes.

    God bless.

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  5. I feel tired just reading about exercise. Gone are the days I'm afraid.

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  6. That's nuts! Most people never seem to use their exercise equipment.

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  7. My boss bought one of those bikes.....maybe I should give him your number? Haha

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  8. With the right marketing, I'm sure you could find stupid people to spend their stupid money on your "motivational service." I could probably tone up my abs just laughing at your encouraging words, but my stupid money is earmarked for lottery tickets.

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  9. Ha ha, glad you raised your price. Ten bucks wasn't near enough. Have fun yelling, drinking, smoking and motivating. Perfect.

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  10. Yeah, I occasionally spend stupid money on lottery tickets, too. Here's how to have a cheap stationary bike. First go to a yard sale or a junkyard and find a cheap old bicycle and bring it home. Second take off both wheels and jam the frame into the dirt in your backyard. Third, unhook and remove the chain. Then you can either pedal to your heart's desire or just sit on it while watching the birds exercise in your hard. You won't lose any weight or get more fit but you'll feel better.

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  11. I don't like stupid money things. I'm not going there.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend, Joe. 😎

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  12. Spending a couple of dollars here or there on things you just want but don't need is as close to stupid money as i care to get.

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  13. I think having a certain amount of "stupid money" is good for a marriage. You can buy something that YOU want, without having to clear it with your spouse (who has her own stupid money). It's better than siphoning it off car maintenance money or grocery money.

    I won't get mad at my husband for buying sodas (his stupid money), he can't say anything about my margaritas (my stupid money). Ha!

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