Shoes Are to Women as Tools are to ___?

Shoes Are to Women as Tools are to ___?

This re-run is from November 2014

Anybody?  Class…any one? 

Men...Shoes are to women as tools are to men.

In a recent post, I made fun of Mrs. Cranky’s insatiable appetite for shoes and asked the question, “What is it about women and shoes?”

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2014/10/too-many-shoes.html 

One blogger, Leenie B., commented via a Shakespeare quote that everyone has their equivalent of Mrs. Cranky’s shoes.

http://bonkersycarax.blogspot.com/ (Leenie B's blog)

Who am I to argue with Shakespeare?  

Shakespeare and Lennie B. are of course correct.  In my case and in the case of many men, my obsession used to be tools.

When I owned a house, and not a townhouse, I collected tools for yard work or handyman jobs around the house.  I started with a screw driver, a hammer and a shovel.  Whatever job I started to do, I never had the right screw driver, hammer or shovel.  I had to go to the hardware store and buy a hex head screw driver, or a Phillip’s head screw driver, or a larger flat head, or a ball peen hammer or a small sledge hammer, or a spade, or a small pointy shovel or etc. etc.

It never mattered what job I might tackle, I never had the right tool.

Tools became an obsession. 

I could not go to Home Depot, Lowe's, or any hardware store without buying at least one tool.  My ex-wife claimed she hated Home Depot because the testosterone overload made it hard for her to breath.

I bought multiple screw driver sets; one for the work shop, one for the shed, and one for the kitchen.  I didn't ever want to be too far from the right screw driver.

Still, I always seemed to need a driver with a longer handle, or a different size.  I can’t tell how many times I used a quarter or a knife because I didn't have the right slot size.

I bought multiple hammers, many which have never struck a nail.  I bought wrenches and pliers in many styles.  The TV commercials made them look so handy.  They never worked quite as well as they did on the TV.

Then I bought wedges, pry bars, drills, saws, all of multiple sizes and shapes.  I had clamps for little tiny stuff and claps for great big stuff.  I didn't have much need for any of these but it felt good to know that if a need would arise, I had the right tool.

Then I graduated to power tools!  Oh how I loved my power tools.  Drills, table saws, jig saws, chain saws, (cue a Tim Allen ooh ooh ooh ah)   I even had a large drill press. 

The sad truth is that whenever the need would arise, I still never had the right tool.  It seems that every job ever encountered requires a special tool for that job and that job alone, and you never have that special tool.

Kind of like a shoe to go with a special outfit in different weather at a certain time of the year for a specific function.

See ladies, I really do get it.  I just think shoes are funnier than tools.