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Friday, December 16, 2016

Shopping Online

Shopping Online

Cranky opinion Saturday has been temporarily suspended due to the extreme reaction to anything remotely political.  The current climate terrifies me…so much violence makes any opinion expressing dangerous.  Opinions will resume when I deem it safe again to voice a thought.

Hmmm…was that just an opinion?  Sorry.

I hate Christmas shopping.  I never get the right stuff, and stores just freak me out this time of the year.  My solution?  Most of my family is scattered around the country, so I send money.  Who doesn’t like money?

But I can’t just give Mrs. Cranky money.  We share money all the time.  Giving her money would be like getting socks from your Mom back in the old days…thanks, but I’m pretty sure mom was not going to let me go to school barefoot if it wasn’t for Christmas.

So, I try to get Mrs. Cranky a present or presents she might want but would not get for herself.  Jewelry is easy, and she likes jewelry.  The problem with jewelry is it is expensive.  The other problem is once you have established a jewelry base line, you have to match it or surpass it.  If you do not, then your wife wonders why the change.  You can’t get diamond one year and then drop to ruby the next.  At least you can’t in a man’s mind.

This year Mrs. C left me several suggestions all of which could be purchased on-line.  I know what you’re thinking,

“Well that’s no good, where is the surprise?”

First of all, what are we, ten? Christmas surprises are like Trix…for kids.

Secondly, the surprise would be that I actually bought what she wanted and not tried to surprise her with something she had to pretend to like.  (Mrs. C is not a good pretender, disappointment runs across her face like the ticker on Times Square.)

I bought three gifts for her on-line.

Now there was the wait for delivery.

The sites I used sent me emails confirming my purchases.  On one “store” I purchased as a “guest” not wanting to join their “store.”  I joined as a guest because I currently receive spam telling me I bought something from the “store” and to click a bogus website if I wanted to dispute the purchase.  Since I am not a member, it is easy to ignore this clever scam. 

All this has been a lot of blah blah blah to set up my latest breakdown.

Yesterday I received a text from the “store” advising me that my purchase had been delivered and to contact them if I was not satisfied.  Well I wasn’t satisfied, I did not receive a thing.  Was this a spam message?  I don’t think so, they referenced a correct purchase number. 

“Shit, I hate this on-line purchase stuff!”

“What’s wrong.”

“I bought something and they told me it has been delivered but I don’t have it.”

“Where did you buy it?”

“The ‘store’”

“Ooh, nice, you got me the IPod.”

“Yes, Merry Christmas…SURPRISE! Meanwhile I have nothing.”

I went on-line to follow up, but if you are not a member of the “store” you have to call.  The wait to get through a call is quite long and the music they force you to listen to is awful.  While I was waiting, I was also wondering why they sent me a text.  How do they even know the number I gave them was a cell phone?  While I was waiting I also double checked the email confirmation they sent me.  It said the package should arrive December 13. That’s not yesterday, “THAT’s TODAY!!” Why then did they send me the text?  I hung up on the awful music.

Mrs. C called from downstairs.

“There is a package from Apple that just arrived; and something from Sharper Image also.  Did you get me that camera thing?”

“Yes!  And a certificate for a massage will arrive in your email on the 25th.


Now I have to buy jewelry for a surprise.  Yeech!


  1. And that is why me and hubby don't exchange gifts any more :) We buy a "joint" gift or we don't buy anything for each other. Safer and doesn't ruin the surprise :)


  2. We just exchange token gifts and buy something for the house. Saves a huge headache.

  3. it is scary when you pay and get nothing but glad that finally all went good except it spoiled your surprise for your dear wife but how sweet that you are going to surprise her with another present of jewelry .
    i think people with pure heart feel pretending HARD JOB.
    thank you for smiles Joe

  4. No matter how early I start, this time of year gets crazy.

  5. sounds like a good reason to buy on line much earlier so you have time to hide the delivered goodies, or not buy online at all. Which means you'll have to go shopping.

  6. Well, thank goodness all ended well except maybe for that final gift purchase. Happy Christmas.
    Fortunately my non-delivery was a gift to me from me. I am still fuming and if I don't get money back I shall fume even more.
    As for Christmas, I have given money in the past and felt awful doing it. Where's the satisfaction in that?

  7. Too funny. I guess Christmas gift giving can bring out the best or the worst of situations. I am sure Mrs. C. would cherish whatever you give her.

  8. My favorite is when the mail carrier leaves a note that you have to pick up the package at the post office because you weren't home at time of delivery. But you WERE home. Happened twice now.

  9. Well, at least all your 'non surprises' arrived safely. It IS unbelievably hard to surprise someone you live with.

  10. I've tried to do politics on my page but my readers are so polite that they won't even challenge me, let alone threaten me. You have special readers indeed if they come to your page and treat you rudely.

    Maybe I just need to get more controversial.

    I'll try comparing someone to Nazis.

    Maybe I should wait until after the holidays. Calling someone a Nazi during the holidays seems rude.

  11. I didn't know you couldn't talk politics here. I don't think I've even been rude to you here. I'm pretty sure I haven't been. I will say that there are some mighty hateful people right now. The ones that lost that is. Wow, it's amazing.

    Hubby and I don't do gifts for each other anymore and you're just proved why. It's too difficult to do most anything anymore.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. My best to Mrs. Cranky. ☺

  12. As a former jewelry salesman I can report that rubies can be much more expensive than diamonds, depending on color. I also hate Christmas shopping. After fort-five years of being together I've run out of gift-giving ideas for Mrs. Chatterbox.

  13. Christmas shopping is easy! My wife usually tells me a few weeks before Christmas that she needed/wanted a _____ and just went ahead and bought it, and it can be her present from me. :)

  14. Buying from a list saves the agony or returns. And a little surprise gift is a great idea. Didn't mean to but had to laugh at your dilemma.

  15. I like the old-fashioned way of going shopping in stores :)

    I hope you have a Merry Christmas :)

  16. Buy everything on Amazon. We must further their eventual takeover of the planet, and one day Earth will be re-named Amazon.

  17. Maybe from now on you just need to take each other to the store and buy what the other wants. Not much to open on Christmas morning, but as you noted, you aren't kids.

  18. We don't do surprises. She picks out what she wants and I give her ideas of what I want. We both pretty much buy the things we want through the year so trying to do a surprise (for me) would be a mistake.

  19. Christmas shopping is easy. I send a link of the thing I want on Amazon to my husband; he does the same for me. The hardest part is knowing what's in the package that UPS delivers, and NOT opening it until Christmas!

    Mrs. Cranky is very lucky to have you for a husband. An iPod and a camera thingy...those are nice presents! Speaking of jewelry, whenever someone (OK, my kids) asks me what I'd like for Christmas, I always tell them, "I'm all about the three C's: coffee, chocolate, camera stuff." I usually get coffee and chocolate. The camera stuff is usually the link on Amazon to my husband.

    Merry Christmas to you and Mrs. Cranky!

  20. We don't exchange gifts here. I always buy what I want and what he wants all during the year. I send the children and grandchildren (the grandchildren that aren't married) some money. No shopping in stores here. Take care> Jean

  21. Funny how my husband never knows what to get me, and even though I drop HEAVY hints about something that I could really use, he says, "If you need it, go ahead and get it."

    Yet I find a dozen items for him (not expensive) from eBay or home improvement stores, and he LOVES them.

  22. If you want a surprise, you have to have them delivered to the neighbor! I am the queen of online shopping. Having bad knees, back and Fibromyalgia, I don't do stores well. I love pressing the button and having delivered!