STUPID HEADLINES 122616
It’s time again for
Maybe they should try shark repellant
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
(on a Monday)
This week’s stupid headlines
and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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About 70 employees get sick after
health department party – Maybe they should call in the Health Department.
Airbus finalizes deal with Iran for
100 planes – Ok, so
Iran gives Airbus 100 planes to finalize the deal, but what is the deal? Who
writes these headlines?
Oldest known living gorilla in U.S.
turns 60 – Dang, Hulk
Hogan is 60 already?
Contents of first discovered
Philistine cemetery revealed – Turns out there were mostly a lot of dead Philistines!
Scientists Found
Something Surprising Near Uranus – For the love of God,
would someone please rename this planet!
Michelle Obama: Barack Obama is the
Parent and the American Public Are His Hurt Little Kids – I don’t dislike President Obama, but
I had a daddy and he was at least as smart as the President. Does anyone else find this offensive? Probably just me.
Couple Finally Gets Married After 41
Years of Dating – And
boy are they horny!
NFL security guard fired after
apparent sex act during game – A Mr. Castanza was later quoted asking, “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? If I knew that
that sort of thing was frowned upon...”
Your poop can be turned into fuel – But your car will get shitty mileage.
George Washington University Removes
U.S. History as a Requirement for History Majors – Big deal, and why would a college
named after the guy who invented the peanut be concerned about American
History?
Drugged driver leads cops on chase
through airport – Why
would cops have a drugged driver lead them in a chase, seem like he would only
slow them down.
THE FEEL GOOD HEADLINE
THIS WEEK:
Black Man Befriending KKK Members Has
Led to 200 People Quitting the Organization - Daryl Davis is a black blues musician who has traveled the
country for the last 30 years befriending members of the Ku Klux Klan. This mission is not out of any sort of
misplaced empathy with the organization’s racism – the
58-year-old believes that when Klansmen actually sit down and talk with a
black man, they will find that their hatred is misplaced – and he’s usually
right.
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Come Back Next Week For More
STUPID HEADLINES!!
I want to know more about the lawyers and the bug spray.
ReplyDeleteWhen they can turn all the hot air coming out of politicians into fuel, i might be interested.
ReplyDeleteLove the last one, but you have to have the right black man to do this. Some of the idiots out in the street would not be successful. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
"Barack Obama is the Parent and the American Public Are His Hurt Little Kids"
ReplyDelete- Good grief; condescend much?
And yeah, I suppose finding surprising things near Uranus could never be a good thing. . . (I noticed a few years back that the scientist-types who show up on TV/radio started calling it 'urine-us', instead of 'yer-anus'; but I'm not sure that's much of an improvement. . .)
Mr Davis is one brave man and while I believe his principal, it took courage to do.
ReplyDeleteYour poop can be turned into fuel – But your car will get shitty mileage...and you NEVER want to drive this car on a first date. Or any date.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the scientists found it near Uranus and not mine!
ReplyDeleteKudos....you managed to get "Uranus" and "poop" in the same post. I'm impressed. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy 13-year-old self gave you a fist-pump for your comments this week.
ReplyDeleteBug spray and lawyers made me think of my ongoing ant infestation. Maybe I can sue RAID.
ReplyDelete