WHY CAN’T THE SQUIRREL
CROSS THE ROAD?
Any bird
lover who attempts to feed his feathered friends will tell you squirrels are
very smart. Squirrels will always find
the feed, and they will always find a way into the feeder.
Bird lovers
hang their feeder off tree limbs; squirrels find a way to slide, leap or climb
their way into that feeder. Feeders are
set on poles far from a tree. The
squirrels climb the pole with ease. Bird
lovers grease the pole. Squirrels climb
the pole with ease. Bird lovers put
barriers on the poles, squirrels laugh at the barriers. Bird lovers put barriers that slip, slide or
tip when touched by a squirrel. The
squirrels figure it out on the second or third attempt.
Eventually
most bird lovers grudgingly become squirrel lovers or at least squirrel
appreciators. Their skills, their
tenacity, their acrobatics become part of the bird watching experience. Every bird watcher will tell you that
squirrels are very smart.
Then why, I
ask, can’t squirrels learn to cross a road?
I almost ran
over a squirrel today. He scampered
across the road right in front of me. He
waited to cross until I was in his range and then he shot across. He could have made it too, but just as he was
almost clear of my front wheels, he stopped dead waiting to be stopped
dead. I was too quick for him this
time. I have run over squirrels in the
past, I was ready for him to stop and disaster was averted.
So the
question is, how is it a creature can be so clever, so inventive, and so
skillfully able to circumvent every obstacle imaginable to find his way to
an easy meal, yet he is unable to cross a road?
Apparently
the squirrels DNA has adapted to finding food over millions of years . His existence pretty much demands that the
squirrel be good at finding food. The car
and roads, are pretty new on the evolutionary scale. Except for the last one-hundred years or so,
the ability to cross a road has not been much of a factor in the survival of
the squirrel species. From the many
carcasses I see along the road, squirrels are not particularly fast learners.
Fortunately
for the squirrel many of their other natural predators, particularly in rural
heavily road traveled areas, have been decimated, so the car is the squirrels
main enemy. Perhaps after a few more
decades of the evolutionary process squirrels will learn that the best way to
avoid their new enemy is to scamper like hell, not stop squat and freeze. The stop, squat and freeze helps them hide
from their traditional predators. This
tactic puts them in position to dart in a different direction to avoid capture;
it is a very bad defense against several thousand pounds of fast moving steel.
Until new
instincts are developed through the survival of the fittest process, it is
incumbent on squirrel lovers to be prepared to stop short.*
In the mean
time, for us bird lovers, at least the buzzards are thriving.
*Val isn't the only one that can slip in a Seinfeld reference.
*Val isn't the only one that can slip in a Seinfeld reference.
I try to NEVER squish a squirrel!!
ReplyDeleteWhere we used to live two moves ago, the neighbor next door enjoyed feeding the birds, but not the squirrels. We would see lots of squirrels and then wouldn't. He would capture them, release them, somehow they had a way of making their way back to his house. He repeated that process a lot :)
ReplyDeleteI think squirrels are great at playing chicken, sometimes they lose though.
betty
I have admired squirrel the way they crack the nuts and eat. They have a bussy tail which attracts all...
ReplyDeleteOur squirrels are smart. They stay in the backyard.
ReplyDeleteLiving in a national woods, as I do, there are all sorts crossing the road. Squirrels, chipmunks, deer, turtles (I stop and help them across), and right now, birds. Horny birds looking for a girl bird and girl birds flying like the wind. I wish they would stop it.
ReplyDeleteSquirrels and armadillos seem to have the same evolutionary flaw. I break for both. Lets hope they evolve soon. I am a fan of the squirrel's athleticism and intelligence. Armadillos get my affection being cute and unique.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they are like the Chinese peasants who helped build military runways in WWII. When planes were on their takeoff roll many peasants would dart across right in front of the aircraft. Most would make it by a few in front of the planes propellers, some would not. Their explanation was that they were luring out the evil spirits that were chasing them, hoping they would get hit by the planes, ridding them of their demons. Wonder what squirrels are trying to lure out?
ReplyDeletethey are goofy things. getting almost across, then changing their mind, or squatting, as you said. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're right, they do wait until you are within range before they dart across the road. I don't think I've ever ran over on though. I'm happy about that. There are enough other roadkill all over the place.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
I think they are too busy trying to figure out how to overcome the bird feeders that it distracts them on their way across the road. When will they ever learn?
ReplyDeleteWe have to watch for them always in our area. My Sweetie slows when he sees one in a tree near the road, about to scamper down, and honks at it to make it go back up the tree. If they are crossing, he honks at them until they get across and jump in the tree. He says it's teaching them to be afraid of cars and stay in the trees where they belong.
ReplyDeleteNo worries, squirrel mommies will make plenty more .....
ReplyDeleteIt does seem like squirrels have a suicidal streak in them at times.
ReplyDeleteWell, thank goodness you didn't run over him, and have to fly in tiny surgical instruments from El Paso, and give him his meds six times a day, and keep his tail elevated!
ReplyDeleteYou can't out-Seinfeld Val. Yet.
Wait a minute...don't we "have an agreement?"
ReplyDeleteSigned, another Seinfeld fan.
Perfect photo and caption to go with :)
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post! Not only because it's so true--they ALWAYS freeze up in the middle of the road like a deer caught in the headlights--but because I am a HUGE squirrel fan. I have dozens in my yard--along with a gazillion birds that I feed daily. I never get tired watching the squirrels, though. They eat right out of my hand. Yes, there is a reason why everyone calls me the "Squirrel Whisper", which I imagine is akin to the "crazy cat lady."
ReplyDelete