THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Sunday, March 29, 2015
STUPID HEADLINES 032915
STUPID HEADLINES 032915
It is time once
And this is why I'm a dog person.
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes
One headline may be fake. Guess the fake and win a mention
and a WHOOP-TEE-DOO. None of the above may be a correct answer.
Comment moderation is on for one day.
Kim K. Says spinach wrap helps plump her
butt –She’s plump in the sittish cause she wraps up in spinach she’s Kim K the
big can ma’am.
Jennifer Aniston admits
she likes having some sweat in her hair –Depending whose sweat it is of course.
New Zealand 'Bachelor'
contestant farts in front of suitor – As long as she is on this journey for the right
reasons I think he could see himself with this person for the rest of his life;
time to clear the air and give her a rose. (The
six readers who watch ‘The Bachelor’ will get this)
North Carolina man free to stand naked in home’s doorway, police
say– Police also say neighbors are free to point, laugh and call
him ‘needle dick.’
Lawmaker wants all
students to learn cursive handwriting by the end of third grade – What? Teaching third
graders to swear!That is just terrible…huh…that’s not
cursing, it’s script or longhand.Well
that’s different, hell; I had to learn Latin, everyone should have to learn a
few worthless things in school too…never mind.
Arkansas judge in serious condition after pet zebra
attack – Judge claimed he thought the
horse was safe because “It was behind bars.”
George Zimmerman blames Obama for racial divide – Well who is more qualified to offer such an opinion
than George Zimmerman?Clearly there
were no racial issues in this country before President Obama!
Basketball player can
use ‘F-word’ last name – But only when being announced for committing a foul.
Bengals tackle Devon
Still announces daughter’s cancer in remission – We interrupt these
stupid headlines with a nice story.
federal workers from watching porn at work – Sure, now that he is no longer
President, he wants this stopped!
Naked Paint Parties Prompt Church's Loss
of Tax-Exempt Status – It was just one party after
a little too much communion wine.
Dem resolution warns global warming could force women into prostitution – It could
also cause men to lose their left nut…well it could!
Last week’s fake was:
Melting snow-statue of “Mt. Rushmore” on Vermont mans front
yard now resembles Obama–It is for sale on E-bay, but you have to get your bid in