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Thursday, March 20, 2014

TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE


TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE


I just got back from the doctor’s office.  X-rays showed I am clear of kidney stones.  That gels with the way I feel; it’s been two weeks without pain or discomfort.

About five weeks ago I had a large kidney stone blasted into little stones.  The doctor’s job was to blast the stone into the little bits.  Getting rid of the little bits was my job.

I was warned that the getting rid part could be very painful.  Some people even compared it to giving birth.  My experience was that either giving birth is way less difficult than women lead men to believe, or the doctor did a pretty good job of blasting the stone into very little bits.  I am going to assume the latter.

The process was mostly annoying and uncomfortable.  It is annoying as hell to feel like you could put out a fire, only to pee like Mr. Coffee.  It is annoying to get up to pee every eight minutes and never feel that Ahh relief we all know and love so well. 

On the plus side, when you do pass material, it is like hitting a home run!

Anyway, I am done for now.  The doctor advised the odds of creating another stone within five years are very high, so I need to avoid certain foods and drinks.  Dark soda is a no-no.  Not an issue, I generally stay away from soda anyway.  Tea, iced or otherwise, is discouraged.  Dark green and leafy vegetables are discouraged.   High on the list are spinach and broccoli.  Outside of veal saltimbocca I seldom eat spinach.  Broccoli will also be easy to avoid.  My second wife fed me that friggin vegetable almost every meal.  Now I think she knew something and did it on purpose.

I have been instructed to drink lots of water.  Lemonade, not the fake stuff is excellent, a glass per day is suggested.  I used to have a glass of iced tea with dinner when we eat out, now I guess I will have to substitute a Tom Collins instead.  I really shouldn't drink, but if it is medicinal…

Anyway, the stone thing is done.  I still can’t pee like my grandsons but at least I no longer pee in Morris Code.

                                            ____________________

Thank you everyone, for your prayers in response to yesterday's post:  
HERO’s DON’T ALWAYS MAKE THE 6 O’CLOCK NEWS http://nblo.gs/UZKr6 
I am a hard headed, conservative, cranky old man but I believe that prayer works and it never hurts!

15 comments:

  1. Oh man. *thinks* To be able to pee like a kid again.
    But what was I saying?
    Right.
    Daughter Number One's significant other had to go to the ER last week as he passed a stone. Didn't pass out, but he was puking on the way there.
    The attending female nurse said she had both had a kid, and had passed a stone. (Two different occasions, apparently.)
    Seems both are right up there on the pain scale.
    I guess having to pass the little bits is better than having "the big one".
    So, you be lucky!

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  2. thanks for the laughs! glad you are 'clear'.

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  3. Ouch. But an encouraging report. I especially like the Tom Collins prophylactic.

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  4. Okay, I'm stuck with the peeing in Morse Code. Bwahahahahahahahaha. I've not had this happen to me, but I've heard it's not fun at all. I'm glad you are on the right side of this issue.

    Have a fabulous day and enjoy those wonderful pees. ☺

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  5. You must have had lithotripsy to break up those stones. My Mrs. C. has suffered with stones over the years and has passed over twenty of the bastards. Glad you're better now.

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  6. I'm not sure what to say about all this, but hey.. glad you can pee all at once again and you're feeling better :)

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  7. I can't pee in public restrooms without doing deep breathing exercises and meditation. And then, just a trickle. No stones, though.

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  8. You'd better say it was the doctor doing such a good job breaking up those stones or the women will be ready to let you have it. And we had to get up and pee every 8 minutes when we were pregnant so you still don't have anything over us. Just thought I'd point that out. lol But I'm sure glad you are feeling better. I've heard those stones can really be painful.

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  9. So glad it is all over. If you had passed them before blasting, you would know what women go through:))
    Interesting what are no-nos. Half my diet.
    Be well and pee free.

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  10. OK, you just made me get up and drink some water.

    Not sure if I want to give up the food you mentioned, just to avoid potential problems down the road. At least chocolate wasn't on the forbidden list.

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  11. You poor thing! No 44 oz. Diet Cokes in your future. :(

    I've never had a kidney stone, but a gallstone was more painful than having two extra-large-cranium babies without an epidural.

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  12. Ouch! I've had four of the little buggers, so I know how you felt. I must be a super wimp, though, because when I "passed" one I was expecting it to look like a bowling ball....at least that's what it felt like. Turns out it was the size of a pin head. Trying to pass something the size of a kid....I don't think I could handle childbirth. ;)

    S

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  13. I am glad I never had a kidney stone. A couple of my friends have had them. It makes me hurt just hearing the stores about the pain.

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  14. Spinach and broccoli are bad? I love broccoli! However, I don't have a kidney stone....
    I've heard that a little apple cider vinegar in warm water a day helps to dissolve existing stones and prevent new ones.

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  15. No spinach and broccoli! No green tea! How are you going to survive without these cure-all foods?

    Thanks for the LOL - especially the last paragraph.

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