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Sunday, March 23, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 032314


STUPID HEADLINES 032314

It is once again time for:
Way TMI!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.  

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Doctors perform rare C-section on gorilla – Strangely enough, most gorillas prefer natural birth…pant, pant, blow…pound your chest…pant, pant, blow…pound your chest.

Professor cooks up recipe for turning wood chips into food – Couldn’t that make you Sick Or More?  Woodn’t it taste like Ash?  Hey, Yew never know.  OK, I’m Elmost done.  Make sure to Spruce up before dinner.  See dare I go again, but I’m done now, by Gum.*

Baptist churches giving away guns to attract new members – I hope the Post Office doesn’t think this is a good way to hire carriers.

Jurors award nearly half-million dollars to handyman who slayed 7 at suburban restaurant – Dang, that’s over $70,000 per murder…who said crime doesn’t pay?

Hangman resigns after seeing gallows for first time – Well it was only a part time job anyway.   (See how I avoided any bad “Its noose to me” pun…well I almost avoided it.)

49ers Coach Jim Harbaugh Does Push-Ups With a Walrus – That’s illegal in 16 New Jersey counties!

Atheist Group Objects To The Term “Crosswalk” – Group insists on naming pedestrian section “Disaway.”

President Obama reveals Final Four picks for NCAA March Madness Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and Hilary Clinton?  This is college basketball Mr. President!

Man finds egg worth $33.3 million – Now he is looking for the hen.

A State With No Song: Decades-long fight to get NJ an anthem drags on – Val, if you dare suggest “Dirty Water” I will unfriend you!**

Hawaii law allows undercover police officers to have sex with prostitutes – I think this is wrong even if it is done under the covers.

Mt.Gox finds 200,000 bitcoins in old wallet – I have researched and studied this subject extensively and this is what it means to me: Blah, blah, money sort of, blah, fake, blah rip off, geeks, blah, blah, blah, ruined, not safe, yada, yada, yada, future, not, nerd, blah, mine computer, blah, blah, blah!

 

*They say puns are the lowest form of humor, actually the lowest form of humor is really bad puns.


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Last week’s fake headline was:

Man addicted to saliva tries to quit swallowing – He tried chewing spitorette gum, but that didn’t work.

Very few guessers, 4 people nailed it:

                         Marcia Shaw Wyatt said...

Man addicted to saliva. Wow! That's my pick this week. I love you headlines and comments on them. Thanks so much for sharing and I hope you have a great Sunday! :D

Visit Marcia @ http://blogitudes.com/ I am just getting acquainted so visit with me…jokes…thoughts…eclectic stuff.  

           Pixel Peeper said...

My guess is on the guy addicted to saliva.

You will find Pixel @ http://my-couch-corner.blogspot.com/ Nature photos and funny Dry Cleaner sayings (just go there, you’ll see.)  

 

                       Val said...

I'm drooling for the saliva addict to be the fake this week.

Visit Val @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ She is always entertaining!

                       Life happens said...

I'm really hoping its the saliva one. I would say the conceived in bathroom one but let's face it that's pretty common. The spit one should be a real one. I know a few people that drool all the time. I wish they would swallow it or something. I have had many a spit bath while talking to them.

You can find Mylinda @ http://pmmkpl.blogspot.com/  (I may have misspelled her name, but she probably can’t see it anyway) just check out this amazing lady she always has a fun post.

 And come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

16 comments:

  1. Yay! I got last week's right ... and thank you very much for the mention! :D Now for this week's guess - I gotta go with the Baptist church giving away guns. Makes me wonder if they're bringing in possible new members at gunpoint and then turning over the guns and letting the new members keep 'em if they agree to convert. LOL Thanks for the laughs this morning and I hope you have a wonderful day! :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Hangman resigns after seeing gallows for first time"

    'Cause he went on to a higher paying gig as a letal injectionist.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OK, I'd say that the fake headline is "Mt.Gox finds 200,000 bitcoins in old wallet"

    Have a great silly Sunday!

    Steve

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have to go with the Hangman resigning. No idea why.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think it's Man finds egg worth $33.3 million LOL

    Have a crankytastic week ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Obama picks for March Madness. He's really that dumb?

    I love these all and thanks for playing along with Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

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  7. I think it is Hawaii's undercover Police and the prostitutes head line. I would have heard it if it were true. Our son lives there.
    So am I disqualified if I am right?

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  8. This is all news to me.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/03/memories-of-clinton-white-house.html

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  9. This week, they all sound made up to me! Since you didn't change the rules (i.e. only one is fake), I'm going with the Hawaiian police.

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  10. Wow! I've been out of the loop this week. These headlines seem totally foreign. Tough choice, but I'm going to have to take "Wood Chips into Food" as the fake. Humans can't digest cellulose. That's why corn goes right through you. So unless that professor was turning wood chips into four-stomached cow food, me and my single stomach just say no.

    Hmpf! It seems that my thoughtful suggestions are not appreciated around here to the extent I expected. Anyway, there's no need to unfriend me. I would never suggest "Dirty Water" for your state song. It never even entered my mind. So I am NOT campaigning for that song adoption.

    Not when I'm so partial to the Doobie Brothers, and their classic, "Black Water."

    ReplyDelete
  11. I need to believe atheists have better things to do than worry about crosswalks so I'll pick that one.

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  12. I will go with "A State With No Song: Decades-long fight to get NJ an anthem drags on." I sure there is song out there for New Jersey.

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  13. Do we even have hangmen any more? I'm going for that one.

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  14. Today's headline made me laugh!

    ReplyDelete

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