TAKE THE FOOT OUT OF FOOTBALL
A cranky opinion for
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
The following is the opinion of a cranky old man who has only limited knowledge on the subject opined. Opposing opinions are welcome. They are wrong, but they are welcome, and please, no name calling. That means you, you big stupid head!
The NFL recently voted to experiment with changing the extra point after a touchdown rule. Currently the extra point in the NFL is virtually automatic. The league wants to change that and make the game more exciting. The experiment will be during the preseason only. Extra-point kicks will be attempted from the 20 yard line.
I doubt this will make that much difference in the game. Conversions will probably drop from 99% to 92% which will only result in pissing fans off because a few more games will be decided by a soccer player who keeks de ball an weens de game.
The Cranky Old Man favors eliminating the extra-point kick all together. A touchdown is 7 points. If a team wishes to try a play from scrimmage for an eighth point then let them. If they convert they get an eighth point. If they fail to convert, they lose a point. This will speed up the game. It will remove some of the boring kick game.
While they are at it, let’s really take the foot out of football. Raise the cross bar five feet and narrow the goal posts five feet. Change the field goal to a 2 point play, and award the defense one point when a field goal attempt fails. This will make 55 yard field goals a real long-shot, and teams will think twice before ever attempting them. Even shorter attempts will be more difficult and with the reduced reward for a successful kick and penalty for a miss attempt, teams will opt for a more exciting fourth down conversion attempt instead of a boring kick.
With the extra-point kick gone and field goal attempts drastically reduced the only regular kicking plays will be the always exciting punts and kickoffs. Maybe at this point we could also change the name of the game. In the rest of the world football is what we call soccer.
Since the NFL wants to expand internationally it would be less confusing to have a new name for the game. I recommend we rename football…Warball. The game is all about moving into the other side’s territory and crossing their final boundary. The game is organized war with rules, let’s call it Warball. Then soccer will be called football as it is in the rest of the world, and we can put an end to all the confusion.
Here is your cranky recap.
1. No kick for a ridiculous point after touchdown.
2. Raise the crossbar, narrow the goalposts and make field goals more difficult.
3. Field goals are only 2 points.
4. Missed field goal attempts are 1 point for the other team.
5. Change the name of football to Warball.
6. Change the name of soccer to football.
The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.