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Saturday, March 29, 2014



A cranky opinion for


The following is the opinion of a cranky old man who has only limited knowledge on the subject opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome.  They are wrong, but they are welcome, and please, no name calling.  That means you, you big stupid head!

The NFL recently voted to experiment with changing the extra point after a touchdown rule.  Currently the extra point in the NFL is virtually automatic.  The league wants to change that and make the game more exciting.  The experiment will be during the preseason only.  Extra-point kicks will be attempted from the 20 yard line.

I doubt this will make that much difference in the game.  Conversions will probably drop from 99% to 92% which will only result in pissing fans off because a few more games will be decided by a soccer player who keeks de ball an weens de game.

The Cranky Old Man favors eliminating the extra-point kick all together.  A touchdown is 7 points.  If a team wishes to try a play from scrimmage for an eighth point then let them.  If they convert they get an eighth point.  If they fail to convert, they lose a point.  This will speed up the game.  It will remove some of the boring kick game.

While they are at it, let’s really take the foot out of football.  Raise the cross bar five feet and narrow the goal posts five feet.  Change the field goal to a 2 point play, and award the defense one point when a field goal attempt fails.  This will make 55 yard field goals a real long-shot, and teams will think twice before ever attempting them.  Even shorter attempts will be more difficult and with the reduced reward for a successful kick and penalty for a miss attempt, teams will opt for a more exciting fourth down conversion attempt instead of a boring kick.

With the extra-point kick gone and field goal attempts drastically reduced the only regular kicking plays will be the always exciting punts and kickoffs.  Maybe at this point we could also change the name of the game.  In the rest of the world football is what we call soccer. 

Since the NFL wants to expand internationally it would be less confusing to have a new name for the game.   I recommend we rename football…Warball.  The game is all about moving into the other side’s territory and crossing their final boundary.  The game is organized war with rules, let’s call it Warball.   Then soccer will be called football as it is in the rest of the world, and we can put an end to all the confusion.

Here is your cranky recap. 

1.     No kick for a ridiculous point after touchdown.

2.     Raise the crossbar, narrow the goalposts and make field goals more difficult.

3.    Field goals are only 2 points.

4.    Missed field goal attempts are 1 point for the other team.

5.    Change the name of football to Warball.

6.    Change the name of soccer to football.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.


  1. I like much of what you propose regarding changing the kicking game, goal posts, penalties for missed kicks etc. But I wanna keep the name "football". I mean, football players have foots, too. Mostly I just don't want to give our name up to those skinny string bean soccer players.

    And here's one more for you: Wanna stop concussions? Let them play with NO helmets. I guarantee that will put an end to spearing. Look at hard helmets, no big pads, surprisingly few injuries. They actually know how to tackle the way real football players used to.


  2. I don't care what they do with football because...well we don't watch football or soccer or warball or any sport. Just saying.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  3. i say get rid of the goal posts altogether and make 'em run it across the line to score.

  4. I confess to knowing very little about football but I do like your idea of renaming the game "Warball."

  5. I am so pleased to know nothing about football.

  6. What do people have against plurals? Football should be feetball & toothbrush, teethbrush!!

    1. Actually, in Arkansas "toothbrush" is appropriate. ;)

  7. I can watch a game of football and understand what is going on, except I can't figure out some of the penalties, but that's okay. But you got me to thinking, why do they even have the extra point kick after a touchdown? I have to agree with your concept for the touchdowns to be 7 points and the scrimmaging points thereafter. I think I do agree with most, if not all, of oyur opinion.


  8. I don't do change well in sports but I could get behind #4.

  9. I haven't followed football since cryin' Dick Vermeil led class acts Kurt Warner, Marshall Faulk, Isaac Bruce, and the St. Louis Rams to a Super Bowl title. Change it up. It has become predictable.

  10. Your stuff about the extra point I totally agree with. Field goals... not so much. But I love renaming it Warball. It fits like a chain mail glove.

    And Lowandslow says something I've said for the past couple of years - get rid of helmets. For that matter, get rid of most of the other pads, too. The players have a sense of invincibility with all that armor. I guarantee injuries will go down, not up.

  11. i agree with shrinking and raising the goal posts for sure. my (frequent) suggestion to the league has been to award the scoring team 7 points unless they want to go for more in which case they can get a go from the line of scrimmage that the touchdown was scored from. So if it's a 45 yard touchdown run then that team can either take 7 OR run a play to score from the 45 and get 3 points. They can either kick from there or run a play from there for the additional points. If they fail the TD counts for only 6.

    now if we're gonna rename the game it's gotta be MaulBall.