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Sunday, March 9, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 030914


STUPID HEADLINES 030914

It is time once again for:

They were trained not to profile on race or gender so...
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.  

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North Korea puts Yorkshire Terriers in zoo – At least they are now off the menu.

City to DNA test dog poop – It looks like dog poop, it smells like dog poop, it feels like dog poop, yup DNA test confirms it is dog poop.

10-year-old suspended 3 days for making fingers into shape of gun – Dang; I thought it was harsh when I got two hours detention for giving a kid a wedgie!

Your iPhone Can Now Wake You Up with the Smell of Bacon – Siri can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and make it all smell just to wake up her man; she’s an i-woman, I. w. o. m. a. n….

Massachusetts court says 'upskirt' photos are legal – However, women are no longer allowed to wear patent leather shoes. (Catholic girls from the 50’s will get this.)

Philly man sentenced to 20 years for shooting gun into air – His lawyer’s defense that he was actually aiming at someone was probably a bad choice.

FDA approves Viagra for women – Blue pill comes wrapped inside a diamond ring.

Police search for man suspected of urinating on people – Follow the yellow brick road.

1 millionth Chevrolet Corvette retrieved from museum sinkhole – Now that is one hell of a big sinkhole!

Parakeet Survives Getting Sucked Into Vacuum – Polly wanna crack her way outa here!

Florida family falls ill after eating meat tainted with LSD – I make this mistake all the time.  MSG…LSD…Whatever.


Dan Quayle moment? Obama flubs spelling of 'respect' –

Simple mistake, he applied the “e before c except after p” rule and “forgot the or sounds of ekt like expect and respect.”

 

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LAST WEEK’S FAKE HEADLINE WAS:

Florida Tribe Offended by “Native” Designation Demand they be Called “Original Americans” – Chief wants “Round Eyes” to change name or supply heap lot of firewater for no wampum.

The only winner was:

            Emily said:

I'll go native versus original.

Thanks for the belly laughs. The pot shop was my favorite.

WHOOP-DE-DOO!!

Follow Emily “You Learn Something New Every Day” @ http://emhawker.blogspot.com/

And learn something new every day.  You will also be entertained while doing so. 

Go on…check her out!

Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

17 comments:

  1. Don't believe the bacon bit.

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  2. "FDA approves Viagra for women – Blue pill comes wrapped inside a diamond ring."

    Ha! Love it. Conversely, they've found something women can eat that will kill all sexual desires....wedding cake. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I believe I read the viagra pill has not been approved for women.
    Love the dog DNA. Now that's a summer project for unemployed teenagers.

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  4. I must be reading the wrong headlines as I roam the Intertubes.

    I didn't see anything about the Viagra for women being approved.

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  5. Bwahahahahahahaha. I'll go with the corvette one.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

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  6. Love these! They're all so funny. Smells coming from an iPhone though - gotta go with that one ... and hope it's not true. :D

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  7. LOL I will go with the iPhone and
    bacon one ;-)

    Have a tanfastic week ;-)

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  8. I'm going with the Corvette story...there were only six or seven or so that fell into the sinkhole at the museum.

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  9. I think it was only a half dozen cars that dropped into that sink hole.

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  10. Me too on the corvette one. I heard it was under ten.

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  11. If it ain't the bacon one I will simply have to kill myself......I could never live in a world where tantalizing food scents came at me out of my phone.

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  12. Gotta go for the bacon. Smells come from molecules sucked into your proboscis. I don't think an iPhone can store bacon molecules. And I have not yet heard of an iPhone makin' bacon.

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  13. Police search for man suspected of urinating on people ~ I am just hoping this one is the fake.

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  14. I'm following the yellow brick road this week.

    Thanks for the mention! Whoop dee doo!

    ReplyDelete
  15. No WAY can the iPhone produce a bacon smell. That just cannot ever, ever happen. That IS the fake one!

    ReplyDelete

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