THE TRADITIONAL
THANKSGIVING DAY HALIBUT
My old boss
at the brokerage firm where I toiled for forty years, loved Thanksgiving. Well who doesn’t, but he REALLY loved
Thanksgiving. He was a big man, over six
foot and maybe 350 pounds. He loved to
eat, he loved turkey.
This one
year, Tommy was telling me how much he was looking forward to the big day.
“We’re going to my
brother-in-laws. No cooking, no
cleaning, no sprucing up the house. All
we have to do is bring ourselves and a pie.
What a day; football, turkey, football, pie, football, nap, no clean up,
go home with left overs, have a turkey sandwich, another piece of pie, and
watch some football.”
This was a
man who was made for Thanksgiving.
Football, turkey and pie, life was good.
The
following Monday I asked him about how his favorite holiday went.
“There was football, but the rest of
the day was a bust.”
“How so?”
“My brother-in-law has become a
vegetarian! I knew that, but I assumed
there would be a separate entre for him and turkey for everyone
else…WRONG! This year I celebrated
Thanksgiving Day with the traditional Thanksgiving Day Halibut. HALIBUT!! DAMN!! Did the Pilgrims order halibut flown in from
Alaska on that first Thanksgiving? I
don’t think so.
Football is not the same with the
aroma of fish in the oven. Pie is not
the same following the taste of halibut.
Football is not the same after halibut.
A nap does not even happen without turkey to put you in a football-pie
coma. Have you ever had a sandwich of
left-over halibut? It was the worst
Thanksgiving ever!
There is no Thanksgiving without
turkey!”
This year
will be my 67th consecutive Thanksgiving celebrated with
turkey. I have always enjoyed
Thanksgiving Day and turkey, but never as much as I now do when I think of all
those unfortunates in the world who have to suffer a feast of the traditional
Thanksgiving Halibut.
I submit this year, once again, my
suggestion for a traditional Thanksgiving Song:
TURKEY DAY
To the tune of Buddy Holly's "Everyday" (GIYP)
Turkey Day it’s a gettin closer
Who don’t love a tasty oven roaster
A well-cooked bird will surely come my way
A-hay, a-hay, a great day
Turkey Day, goin to be a- crazy
A great big meal, then get really lazy
A well-cooked bird will surely come my way
A-hay, a-hay, a great day
Turkey Day, Lions get their ass beat
Either way, just give me some white meat
Come that day
Right in front of my seat
Pumpkin pie for me
Turkey Day it’s a gettin closer
Who don’t love a tasty oven roaster
Turkey and gravy will surely come my way
A-hay, a-hay, a great day
Turkey Day, goin to be a- crazy
A great big meal, then get really lazy
Thanksgiving is, sure my favorite day
Oh, I luv, Thanksgiving Day
HAPPY
THANKSGIVING!!
Umm...no halibut for me, either. I've had honey glazed ham on Thanksgiving, and it wasn't bad, but it wasn't turkey. Turkey rules!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving my friend! :)
S
Happy Thanksgiving, Cranky! I'm thankful to have found your blog, which often gives me smiles!
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteMy husband would not mind Halibut. I already made Turkey as our kids were together on the weekend as the one in Hawaii was over.
I don't mind halibut, but definitely not for Thanksgiving. At least your brother-in-law isn't vegan--no animal products at all. Take care and have a very Happy Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteCan't even imagine a Thanksgiving without turkey. Horrors. Have a wonderful Happy Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteIs this really a rerun? What a short memory I have. Thanks for the halibut laugh. Have a feasty day tomorrow.
ReplyDeletefish is not my favorite so i wouldn't have enjoyed it much, either.
ReplyDeleteHey Cranky! Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteSure hope you don't have to travel anywhere. ('cause that's just nuts)
I think the brother-in-law was a little confused about the meaning of being a "Vegetarian". You eat vegetables. Hello. No fish. No meat.
Now, halibut for fish and chips? Yes. Thanksgiving? (Canadian or 'Merican, doesn't matter) NO.
Ah yeah.. it wouldn't be the same for sure. Especially if they weren't expecting it. I wasn't expecting your little song either but I enjoyed that.
ReplyDeleteTo me that was a horror story, Cranky--Happy Thanksgiving!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving!!
ReplyDeleteThat story seems just a bit fishy
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgivukkah
Huh. Thanksgiving halibut. They probably celebrate Festivus as well.
ReplyDeletemmmmmm, halibut. my oldest would call it the first worthwhile thanksgiving. me, not so much
ReplyDeleteOooh, that would indeed be a bitter disappointment! Loved your song, left me smiling!
ReplyDelete