STUPID HEADLINES 112413
It is time once again
for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and
sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
_______________________
Being Bilingual May Delay The Onset Of Alzheimer's – Or at the least you forget stuff in multiple languages.
Oxford
dictionaries name 'selfie' as word of the year – Damn, I was
routing for “gubba.”
George Zimmerman charged with assault and battery
after disturbance call – He is claiming self
-defense because his girlfriend was wearing a hoodie and offered him some
Skittles.
Mississippi girls' basketball coach resigns after
allegations he bit player – Girl failed to set a pick, and coach Tyson just lost his
cool.
Woman
arrested 396 times vows to turn life around – So
after 396 she’s going to do a 360?
Tom Brady,
Gisele Bundchen bodyguards sentenced to 5 years after shooting – So I guess Brady is going to
miss a few games, what was he thinking.
Gay
waitress who received note about 'lifestyle' in place of tip will donate to
Wounded Warrior Project - I
wonder if the deadbeat asshole who left the note will contribute the withheld
tip to a worthwhile cause…Hmmm…probably not.
Husband
Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch-Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong" – Cranky Old Man does not normally include headlines of a
tragedy, but this is just over the top!
OK, just checked this out and it is a
hoax…still funny! (Not counted as the fake headline because it is a real fake
headline…or something…
Apple developing a computer that
can be controlled by blinking – It will be called the i-lid.
British People Are Furious That Kate Middleton
Twirled Her Hair In Public – Hmmm…that is
really disgusting especially for someone in British Royalty…WHAT? Oh…PUBLIC…never mind.
Navy POW held by China runs for Senate in Nebraska – Ah…excuse me, China, but if he is in Nebraska
YOU’D BETTER LET HIM GO!!
Two men
save shark from choking on moose – Telegram …Ah… candygram…Er…mailman…Hmmm…landshark. http://telly.com/GVSNS
Last
week’s fake headline was:
Three year old daredevil jumps 27 Tinker Toys with a tricycle
– “Tot Tops Toys
on Trike!”
The
winners who correctly identified the fake:
TexWisGirl
said...
i'm
going for 3 yr old evel knievel.
lime said...
i think it's
the tinker toy story. i don't think a kid today has any idea what a tinker toy is.
Visit TexWisGirl @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/
Visit lime @ http://houseoflime.blogspot.com/
The
fishducky award for funniest comment
goes to lime who didn’t think a three year ole jumping tinker toys on a trike
was strange, but reasoned that a kid today wouldn’t kno know what a tinker toy is.
"British People Are Furious That Kate Middleton Twirled Her Hair In Public"
ReplyDeleteThen what are they going to think when they see her stripper pole? Oh....pubLic....never mind. ;)
i'm going for hair-twirling kate, too. :)
ReplyDeleteDitto on Kate.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I stopped guessing because I have ABSOLUTELY no idea!! (Was that answer correct?)
ReplyDeleteA shark was choking on a moose? I don't think so, which means it's true.
ReplyDeleteI'm picking the scofflaw who was arrested 396 times. Somehow, I have trouble believing she's ready to turn over a new leaf. Maybe on the 400th arrest...but not the 396th.
ReplyDeleteI have no clue which headline is fake, but I know the first one is true. And you are right, sometimes you forget something in BOTH languages. I call that bilingually illiterate. And sometimes I start out a sentence in one language and finish it in the other one. Then people look at me as if I already have Alzheimer's.
ReplyDeletewheeee!!! glad my reasoning made you chuckle as well as earning me kudos.
ReplyDelete