GRANDPA JOE LOSES HIS POOP

GRANDPA JOE LOSES HIS SHIT ER poop

 

What is it about words and why do they sometimes drive us crazy or get us into trouble?  Everyone wants their toddlers to talk.  No one wants them to say bad words.  “Shit piss fuck” coming from a three year olds mouth puts people into a fit.  We teach them alternate words.  We teach them peepee and poop.  Hopefully we can avoid “fuck” altogether.

Problem is when they say peepee or poop it is somehow cute or funny.  They soon learn that if they say peepee or poop it will get a laugh and so they say it all the time with no context whatsoever.   If you ignore their saying peepee or poop they will say it and laugh.  Then you tell them it is not really funny or nice to say peepee or poop, because you don’t want them saying it in the wrong place or to the wrong people. 

And the peepee poop battle begins.

When your toddler (or Grand-toddler) wants attention, he has learned that all he has to do is say peepee or poop and then laugh.  He gets a lecture…he gets attention.

Grandpa Joe tries to avoid the peepee poop battle.  He lets them say it over and over and ignores it.  Grand-toddlers keep saying it and laughing.   They say it louder and louder and laugh more and more.  Grand-toddlers know they shouldn’t do this, that is exactly why they are doing this and they will not stop until they get the attention they seek.

The Grand-toddlers got attention today. 

Grandpa Joe finally cracked.  Grandpa Joe lost his poop.  The grand-toddler's daddy knows this routine from many years past.  I rant and rave for about ten minutes.  Blood vessels almost pop from my temples.  I make my point in a most un-adult fashion.   

“You think poop is so funny?  What is so funny about poop?  You want funny?  POOP…poopety poop poop!  Peepee poop poop poop peepee poop!  Hahahahahaha poop poop poop.  Oh look poop look peepee poop here poop there look poop poop poop poop.  Let’s all say it and laugh!  Poop poop poop poopety poop poop peepee peepee poop Hahahahahaha.”

After many minutes of this insanity I turn completely Looney Tunes and I break out into song and dance:

“Poop poop racetrack sings this song…poop poop, poop poop; poop poop racetrack five miles long…oh the poop poop day.  Gwan ta poop all night; gwan to poop all day…poop poop poop poop peepee poop, somebody poop on da bey.”

For the first eight minutes the toddlers are quiet and a little in shock.  By the time I break into song, they get a little smirk on their faces…but they dare not laugh. 

Then Grandpa Joe is back to normal again; the peepee poop battle is over, and all is right in toddler-land. 

I hope I have not scarred them for life.