STUPID HEADLINES 110313
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This
week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive
comments.
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
____________________________
Texas hunting group offers to save endangered rhinos by auctioning off
permit to kill one – Note to Texas hunters…THERE ARE NO RHINOS IN TEXAS!!!
Michael Jackson doctor released from prison – Doctor
learned his lesson; never moonwalk in the prison shower.
Russia's New Underwater Assault Rifle
Can Shoot 800 Shots Per Minute – Well that has Aquaman is peeing in his speedos!
California judge sentences killer, then performs his wedding – Isn’t there a double jeopardy thing in this country?
Cellphone stops bullet during Florida robbery - Who knew there was an app for THAT?
Seattle seizes elderly woman's parking lot to turn it into -- a parking lot
– They couldn’t find paradise, so “They paved a parking lot and
put up a parking lot.”
Man’s law suit against toy boomerang company comes back to haunt him – So boomerangs failure to boomerang causes law
suit that boomerangs…wait what?
World’s tallest man gets married to woman who is 2 feet,
7 inches shorter – Kinda
puts a different spin on dancing cheek to cheek.
High school beer brewing assignment draws controversy
– Note to parents: Before you kid brews
his own beer to get drunk, he will probably find a way to buy it.
NYPD's Kelly heckled off stage at Brown University over stop-and-frisk
policy – Because college students have been taught to fear
opposing opinions rather than defeat them through debate.
Moose hunter accidentally shoots man sitting on toilet
– The man on the toilet was either very
big, very ugly and had very big ears, or alcohol was involved.
Government paid
millions in Medicare to deceased, illegal immigrants – It’s bad enough to
pay illegal immigrants, but they were also deceased!
Britney Spears'
music used by British navy to scare off Somali pirates – “Turn it
off, turn it off…we pay you!! Please, turn it off!”
Brief solar eclipse comes to U.S. East Coast at sunrise Sunday – Except because of that stupid Daylight savings thing it has been cancelled.
Brief solar eclipse comes to U.S. East Coast at sunrise Sunday – Except because of that stupid Daylight savings thing it has been cancelled.
____________________________________
Last
week’s fake was:
Deranged
man flings excrement during game in Giant Stadium – Coach
Coughlin is worried now that the shit has hit the fan.
There
were two winners:
Fishducky…of
course
I think that
the headline "Deranged man flings excrement during game in Giant
Stadium" is full of shit!!
AND
Oldest friend Chuck,
Winkenstein, Ditmus who responded on Facebook
“The Jets yes, Giants never!”
Chuck has nothing to promote so
I am not going to even mention it.
Man’s law suit against toy boomerang company comes back to haunt him. Do you know what they call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to bow out of this competition after today--but I'll still be reading them!!
ReplyDeleteMy partner and I arrived here seeing as this post has been tweeted by a woman I was following and feel delighted I made it here.
ReplyDeleteCardsharing Server
even before i read fishducky's comment, i decided to go with boomerang.
ReplyDeleteno, fishducky, don't go! who will we idolize in your absence!!!
I think the fake headline is the Brittany Spears one. I mean, she's bad....but she's not that bad, is she? To scare off pirates? Anyway, that's my guess!
ReplyDeleteThey all look fake to me!
ReplyDelete"THERE ARE NO RHINOS IN TEXAS!!!"
ReplyDeleteNo, but if you ever want a trophy jackass, this is a target rich environment. Suggest you start in the State Capital.
S
I'm going with the Russian underwater assault rifle as fake. While I'm sure Putin would welcome the chance to whip off his shirt and demonstrate, I do not see a need for this technology. What would they name it, the SKS Deep 6?
ReplyDeleteI am going with, Seattle seizes elderly woman's parking lot to turn it into -- a parking lot. I picking it because it sounds real. Some of the other sound fake and I know there real.
ReplyDeleteThe Seattle parking lot doesn't seem possible.
ReplyDeleteYour STUPID HEADLINES post are always winners. I can't choose a favorite or a fake. I bow to Fishducky.
ReplyDeleteCan't even begin to make an educated guess on this one, several sound unlikely, but that probably means they're true. As a Texas, I bow to Lowandslow's pronouncement, loved it! :-)
ReplyDelete