This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Thursday, April 5, 2012



A “Fishing with Frog” LEGEND

This year’s annual “Fishing with Frog” (see trip is scheduled for early June.  I am looking forward to the fishing, and the comradery (I don’t care Webster; I insist it is a word.)  I am not looking forward to the annual BOS (bag of shit) about my infamous sighting of the mysterious “Fox Squirrel.”

Five years ago while fishing the West Virginia side of the upper Potomac; I spotted a huge squirrel like animal.  I shouted out to Frog and Catfish:

“Holy Shit!  Did you guys see that?”

“See what?”

“It was like a big squirrel only it was hopping through the woods on the other side of the river.  It looked like a small deer with a huge squirrel body.”

Catfish who is the expert on all things that breathe with lungs or gills replied nonchalantly, “Didn't see it, but it sounds like a Fox Squirrel.”

“Fox squirrel?  I never heard of a fox squirrel.”

“They are very common in this area.  They are very large squirrels.”

“Large!”  Three foot large?”

“It was a fox squirrel.”


I am not an expert on animal life like the Catfish, but I am pretty sure I would have heard somewhere about a three foot high squirrel. 

“Are you sure?…This thing was BIG!” 

“A fox squirrel is a big squirrel.”

I let it be for the rest of the trip.  We did meet some locals and I questioned them about really large squirrels in this area.  They immediately responded, “Oh yeah, sounds like a fox squirrel.  We see them in our yard all the time.”

When I returned home, the first thing I did was get on the internet and search for “fox squirrel.”  I found that there is in fact such an animal.  It is the largest of all squirrels growing to almost three pounds.  The pictures I found looked exactly like every squirrel I have ever seen except…maybe…a little bigger than most. 

The creature I saw was not just three pounds.

The next year I told Catfish this thing I saw was no fox squirrel.  It was not three pounds; it was more like 40 pounds.

The Catfish laughed.  Frog laughed.  It was a big joke; a forty pound squirrel!  It is a big joke every year.

“Hay Hagy, watch out for the killer fox squirrel!”

“Did you bring your elephant rifle?  Its fox squirrel season you know.”

I say very freaking funny.  Go ahead guys, make a joke.  I know what I saw.  Now I know how people feel when their spotting of a UFO or Bigfoot is put-down with derisive laughter.

I don’t care if Catfish, Frog or anyone else chooses to make fun of me.

Somewhere on the Maryland side of the upper Potomac River is an animal with a very large squirrel-like body, a squirrel-like fluffy tail, and the legs of a Great Dane.  It hops like a rabbit....I seem to remember large fangs. 

It is NOT a Fox Squirrel!




  1. Have to say Cranky that after ding some investigation I am going to believe your tale and ask you to google 'Chupacabra' but look for the images rather than everything...Now there are historical tales of these things being demonic etc but if you look at the other pictures - there are a couple of pics of dead ones - they kind of look like what you describe!

    Lou :-)

  2. I'm laughing so hard I can't see the screen for the tears! Hysterical story sir! Hope you catch the sucker...then what will your buddies say?

  3. I absolutely believe you Joe as there is a similat thing in the woods in Bavaria. It is called Wolperdinger. I have not actually seen it, but the locals assure me it it there. I hope you catch him.
    Love the post

  4. I dunno, Cranky... Sounds to me like a freakin mad Easter Bunny!

  5. ‘Fox Squirrels’ be buggered – they are mere pikers in the animal world.

    If ever you come to Australia you have to keep your eye open for our ‘Drop Bears’ – sort of a bigger, meaner Koala Bear only carnivorous – that drop out of trees onto unsuspecting campers and latch on to their heads, ripping and clawing them to death and then dragging them off into the bush to devour them at their leisure. There is YouTube footage of a New Zealand tourist being attacked and killed in the scrub down in South Australia.

    Really mean creatures, just behind our Constrictor Pythons, Crocodiles and Great White Sharks!

  6. Here is more clear footage of an actual 'Drop Bear'

  7. This had me giggling the whole way through. Take the camera next time; we need to see pics of the fox squirrel!


I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!