STUPID HEADLINES 040812

STUPID HEADLINES 040812

It is a little late, but here are this week's stupid headlines and my stupider sophmoric sometimes offensive comments.

Michelle Obama on 'Biggest Loser' to fight obesity – Oh stop! Maybe she could lose five pounds, but Michelle Obama is NOT obese.

Urine-soaked eggs a tasty, healthy treat? – I’ll just get really fricking sick thank you!

'Annoying, Offending' Language Online Would Be Crime Under Arizona Bill – If you are in Arizona please do not read this blog!

Anonymous says it hacked Chinese government sites – He also comments on my blog all the time.

Police: US Virgin Islands mother had week-old baby girl zipped up in her purse while driving – “Hmmm driver’s license, driver’s license…I know it’s in here…OH here, right under the baby.”

World’s first hotel for sheep opens in Japan – Someone….please….come up with a funny comment and win a Cranky “Whoop-Tee-Do.”

Military, church struggle to address Catholic chaplains shortage – Oh well, turns out Catholic chaplains aren’t very good shots.

Iran lawmaker: Country can produce nuclear weapons but will never do so – Ok then; nothing to worry about.  A religious fanatical nation that vows to cut off the heads of cartoonists for their material promises not to make nuclear weapons even though they could.  That’s good enough for me.

Sarkozy dangles "empty chair" threat over Europe – Ooooh Europe is sooo scared.  An empty chair….Ooooh!

Angry ex-girlfriend goes ballistic, rips off man’s scrotum – That certainly explains why she is the “Ex” girlfriend.  

Gazprom flags Shtokman gas shift; Europe wary – WHAT?

7-year-old boy tied to Alaska arson fires – That seems like extreme punishment.  What could a little boy do to deserve this?