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Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Regulators believe there is a chance that electronic emissions from passenger devices could interfere with airline navigation instruments. There is no definitive proof that this is true, but if there is the remotest possibility that these devices could cause a disaster could you just TURN IT THE F OFF?  (Except of course you Alec, you're special.)

Movie theaters and shows ask people to please be considerate of those around them and turn off cell phones and do not take pictures.  They ask very nicely.  They are very polite.  I would just like to request the teenagers at the theater who text and giggle all through the movie to their friends three rows back…er…ah…TURN IT THE F OFF!

To the dude in front of me on the Disney cruise theater, I know this is a once in a lifetime experience and you want to capture all those costumed cartoon characters on film, but my eyes keep getting drawn to the one inch screen of your phone camera when I could actually be watching the real show.  Could I ask you to please TURN IT THE F OFF!  

To the clown in the convertible with the audio turned up full blast.  I am assuming most of the people on the street are enjoying your fantastic taste in music (sic) but I kinda don’t like hearing about “Ho’ses blows and Bro’ses dose and Little Eva eats Ivy.” (“Mairzy Doats”- GIYP)  So I ask you please TURN IT THE F OFF.   

To the butt-head on the train who never learned his inside voice while talking on the cell phone.  I am trying to read, I really don’t need to hear all about your date last night and how f-ing cool you are.  Could you please TURN IT THE F OFF!  Oh and I’m pretty sure whoever you are talking to doesn’t have to guess where you are calling from, cell phones have been around for a while now! JERKWEED!

Hey biker dude on that huge Harley; why don’t you rev that puppy a few hundred times more at every stoplight.  I’m pretty sure that blonde on the corner is about to drop her pants and jump right behind your giant leather covered ass so you can ride off in the sunset to motel 6.  Otherwise could you please TURN IT THE F OFF!

To everyone who wants to show off their loud obnoxious toys in public, I am very impressed now could you please TURN IT THE F OFF!

Thank you.


  1. i hear you man....we are more connected now that ever...and more disconnected now that ever...afraid to miss that one text where their buddy says lol at some lame quip they sent they/we forget everyone else around us....turn it the F off

  2. Amen Cranky....The movie theater s the friggin worse that is why I don't go to the movies anymore not worth the aggravated assault

  3. You have a way with words that cannot be surpassed!

  4. Very well said. A tad understated at times, but well said.

    Turn it the F OFF!

    Whew! I feel better now. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system Cranky

  5. Say it how it is Cranky. Love your style!

  6. It's the moms in Target, walking the aisles w/ the phones in their ears, talking and ignoring their children completely. or out on a walk w/ the child in a stroller--the perfect opportunity to connect, and yet they are on the phone. So sad.