I HATE DJ’s

I HATE DJ’s

I don’t know where this came from, something I saw on TV recently, but I hate DJ’s.  Not radio DJ’s, though I’m not a big fan I can always change the station.  I hate the party DJ’s, anniversary parties, birthday parties, and especially wedding receptions.

The DJ should entertain, but he is not THE party.  The DJ should get the party started, but not be THE party.  Play the records, announce the cutting of the cake, the first dance, introduce speakers….whatever, but do not take over the party. 

At dinner I would like to talk with the people at my table.  Turn the music the FUCK DOWN!

Those jokes you think are so funny have been told one million times.  That laughter you hear is polite laughter.  You are not funny, shut the FUCK UP!

If I wanted to “get up and dance,” I would get up and dance.  Please don’t try and shame me into getting on the floor.  I’ll get my hands up if I feel like getting my hands up.  Just play the fucking song!  I don’t do the hoky poky.  Just play the damn song.  Macarena? No, no, and FUCKING NO!  Don’t tell me to “Come on, get up and get on the floor.”  I am a big boy, if I want to dance, I can figure out how to get up and get on the floor.  You dipshit!

Oh yeah, thank you for those glow things you want me to wear around my head, but I think I’ll pass if you don’t mind.  With enough liquor I really don’t need any accessories to make an ass of myself.  The same goes for funny glasses and funny hats.  Save them for six year olds.

They say you know an umpire in baseball did a good job if you did not notice him; to me a party DJ is the same.  If the music is good, if the music is appropriate, if people dance, sing, drink and have a good time without having a clue who was the DJ, then the DJ did a good job.

If the DJ was the life of the party, then the party sucked!