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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

INDICATORS OF STUPID

INDICATORS OF STUPID



Some people show they are stupid when they try to sound smart.  Some people apparently are just proud to sound stupid.  Some people are just stupid.  The following are just a few examples of:

Cranky’s indicators of stupid

Screwing up on the past tense – These nimrods are never sure of their past tense.   

“I went to the store” or “I had gone to the store” becomes “I had went to the store.” 

“They ate dinner” or “They had eaten dinner” becomes “They had ate dinner.”

Sometimes I think they screw up the tenses on purpose; I believe they are proud of their stupidity.

“Things of that nature” - This is a beauty.  “We were buying groceries and things of that nature.”  What this idiot is really doing is trying to dress up that neon sign of stupidity “and shit.” The proper use of the tense “were” instead of “was” helped to disguise this person’s stupidity; “things of that nature” gives him away.

YO is not a word.  Stupid people think “Yo” means excuse me, and saying it makes interrupting perfectly alright.  Yo yo yo equals triple stupid!

Basically, stupid people love to say basically.  People that preface everything with “basically” light up the stupid meter.  “Basically we had went to the store.”

Can you say “Like” enough?  “I was like “what?” And he was like all “oh yeah,” so I was like “that’s right” and he was like “I don’t think so” then I was like……

“You know” just accentuates stupid: “I was you know like “what?” And he was like all “oh yeah,” you know so I was like “that’s right” you know and he was like you know “I don’t think so” then I was you know like……

Stupid people revel in not using the possessive.  “I was gone to my mom house.”  “They piled into he car.”  “All three went back to they home.” 

Using inappropriate words to try and sound intelligent: We were conversating and he accusatorily intimated that my veracity was deficienativly unarticulated.

Putting it all together, “We were talking and he called me a liar.”

 Becomes (in stupid) “Yo yo yo, like basically we had be conversating and things of that nature at they house, you know, and he like basically accusatorily intimated that my, you know, veracity was like deficienativly unarticulated.

Aiight?    

4 comments:

  1. Like...like I mean really...yo schnizzle

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yesterday my wife said, " to be perfectly honest with you...." I said, "so I can assume that when you don't clarify your honesty, you are lying." she looked confused and went on with what she wanted to say.

    Or she will say, "i unloaded the dishwasher, you know what I'm saying." my response is, "yes I understand what unloading the dishwasher means."

    I still love her.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yo, basically, you are just a cranky old man. Sorry, just had to rile you up a little.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, Joe, it sounds like you have been in a high school really recently!

    I have two more for you to add that just make me want to be a smart-alec; I don't because bad karma will fast-track its way to me, but oh do I think it.

    ...hot water heater. I didn't know a heater could be anything but hot.

    ...as I am writing something or signing my name, an observer says, "so, you're left-handed? or, "oh, you're writing with your left hand." Yes, really, they say these things.

    On a different note, I was terribly sorry to read about your overalls but liked that you found a good use for "that" shirt.

    Yes, I know, I split my verb phrases with an adverb, but it's just something we do down here. Writing it or saying it any other way is so awkward, that no one would understand me if I wrote/spoke correctly. My "cain't" and this habit drives my speaks-the-Queen's English parents nuts, but they love me anyway. I have almost broken the habit of "cain't" but not quite.

    As always, I enjoyed your posts. Enjoy the rest of your week.

    ReplyDelete

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