HEADLINES 021912

HEADLINES 021912

The week just flies on by.  It is hard to believe but it is time again for Cranky’s Headlines and his stupid sophomoric comments of the week!

Police arrest mom after she allegedly punches son during anger management class – The Judge sentences woman to….ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS!!

Naked Man Covered In Chocolate, Peanut Butter At Kentucky Store – Mr. Reece Piece Claimed to be hiding from ET.

Family asks judge to order Massachusetts school district to remove 'under God' from Pledge of Allegiance – Family also requests that the word DOG never be displayed in front of a mirror.

Gay marriage becomes law in Washington – I’m all in favor of allowing gays to marry each other, but making it a law for everyone is going too far. 

French police searching for body find 2.2m catfish – Detective Bernard LaFeef stated, “Ewe know, a bodee ess a bodee.  No?

ND higher ed board to sue to drop Fighting Sioux – See they sue over Sioux so some Sioux supporters should stop saying Sioux.  Sources say suit a sham.  Superior Judge Sue Sower said to be sour on silly Sioux suer, says Sioux suit belongs in the sewer for sure.

Samuel L. Jackson Brings Back Racism – I wasn’t aware it had ever gone away!

Remote-controlled chip implant delivers bone drug – Now what possible scenario would require a dose of Viagra to be delivered by remote control?

U.S. won't allow more fungicide in orange juice – OK, but I hope everyone likes their orange juice with fungus.

Underwear Bomber Abdulmutallab: "Proud to Kill in the Name of God" – He is also proud to be forever known as “THE UNDERWEAR BOMBER”.