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Wednesday, February 8, 2012



Something is missing in the relationship between my wife and me.  We never fight.  We hardly even disagree on things.  I thought couples were supposed to fight.  Every couple I’ve known fights.  I always fought in my other marriages.  It worries me that we never fight.

So the other day I turned to Mrs. Cranky and said, “We need to fight.”


“We need to fight.”


“Because it’s going on four years since we’ve met and we haven’t had a real fight.  It doesn’t seem normal.  It doesn’t seem right.  I’m used to having two or three fights a month.”

“But I don’t want to have a fight.”

“We really should have at least one fight.”

“What do you want to fight about?”

“How about doing the dishes?  I never help with the dishes.”

“Yes you do.”

“Not really; all I do is rinse and occasionally empty the dishwasher.”

“That’s helping.”

“I don’t think it is.”

“Sure it is, you help a lot and I appreciate it.”

“No I don’t, you should yell at me over my lack of help.”

“But I don’t want to yell at you, I have no reason to start a fight.  You want a fight you yell at me!”

“What should I yell at you about?”

“I don’t know; you wanted to have a fight.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know how to start a fight, I’m a counter puncher.”

“Well I don’t know how to start a fight either!”

“Hmmm…that is a problem.  I guess we’ll just have to agree to agree.”

“I agree.”

“Do you need any help with the dishes?”

“You’re a jerk!”


  1. I shouted at S the other day, and then felt horribly guilty. He shouted back at me and he said he felt horribly guilty too.

    We don't fight either - it's no fun!

    Have a great day Cranky & Mrs Cranky

    Lou :-)

  2. Hilarious. Hubs and I rarely fight either, we've been married hmmm....eek, a lot of years, the math defeats me at the moment, but I can count our fights on one hand. We've had a conversation or two just like that!

  3. Love it. Fighting without the yelling and anger is called "discussion". Brilliant.

    I'm the firey of Irish descent fight starter in our house and hubby sort of goes uber stoic German calm, leans back against a wall and disdainfully points out where I am being foolish. Then I flounce off in a tantrum, he waits a little while and comes in to give me a hug.

    Love that too.

  4. I never used to fight with Ex Lax - he sulked, I don't sulk and so failed to realise he was sulking so he sulked a bit more because his sulking wasn't getting proper recognition and ... well, that's it really ...

  5. It's funny but now that I think about it hubby and I don't fight. we bicker back and forth sometimes but we have not had any major throw downs....

  6. Too funny! My hubby and I (second marriage for each of us) don't really argue and fight, either. It's great. I accept that he's a bonehead about a lot of stuff and he understands that my head is in the clouds (plotting books) most of the time. We're like two peas on a pod and we'll celebrate our ten year anniversary next January.

  7. we hardly ever fight too, but as soon as you mention that a whopper of a barney will come round the corner... so scratch my comment - we fight all the time!!!