YELLING AT THE TV
Am I the only one that yells at the TV? Mrs. Cranky thinks that I am. I only recently started yelling at the TV. I think yelling is a product of age.
I watch a quiz show and I have to yell.
“What bird can swim, but not fly?”
a. Eagle
b. Seagull
c. Penguin
d. Seal
“Gee Regis let me think. An eagle can fly, and some dive to catch fish, but I don’t think they can swim. Hmmm a seagull is around water; I don’t think a seal is even a bird. Er ah…”
“PENGUIN YOU FUCKING IDIOT IT’S A FUCKING PENGUIN!! THESE ARE THE EASY ONES YOU DIPSHIT!!”
Mrs. Cranky downstairs washing dishes gets panicky, “WHAT? WHY ARE YOU YELLING?”
“THIS NUMBNUTS IS TAKING FOREVER TO ANSWER AN EASY QUESTION.”
Mrs. Cranky, out of breath from running up the stairs counters, “Its TV! I T I S A T V S H O W. Why are you yelling?”
I don’t know why I yell, I never used to yell. When you get older you have no patience. I feel like I am losing two and a half minutes of my life that I will never get back waiting for some freaking idiot to say “penguin.” So I yell.
I yell at movies, “DON’T GO IN THE BASEMENT YOU IDIOT. WHEN YOU HEAR HEAVY BREATING, GO THE OTHER WAY!!
I especially yell at commercials, “FUCK YOU BITCH; HE PAID FOR THE YOGURT LET HIM EAT IT!!”
I don’t yell at home. I don’t yell in stores. I don’t yell in the car (maybe a little), I don’t yell at the radio, and I don’t yell at what I read.
What is it about getting older that makes me yell at the TV?
Cranky
ReplyDeleteThere is no hope for me then because I am 44 and I am already yelling at the TV and even at idiots on the radio when I am driving and at other drivers on the road....
My wonderful S has taken to not shouting at the TV but sitting there saying "no, no, no - that just wouldn't happen! Do they expect us to think this is real?" and other similar remarks - and usually during my favourite shows like Criminal Minds and The Mentalist.....At least I have not yet lost my ability to just enjoy some shows without questioning the truth behind them....
Yelling at the TV is therapeutic. It's better than changing your name to Cranky Old Man at the Top of the Clocktower With a Gun. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHey, no harm done! Better to yell at the t.v. than at the people you love :-)
ReplyDeleteCome join Casa Crazy. I yell and have daily conversations with my TV..perfectly normal...Right?
ReplyDeleteYou do yell at home. To quote Austin Powers "YOU HAVE TROUBLE CONTROLLING THE VOLUME OF YOUR VOICE!" You do yell in the car and you do yell at the radio. It's not an age thing. You are sometimes Loud and angry. Sorry to break the news to you.
ReplyDeleteBecause you can yell at the TV, vent all those daily built up frustrations, without any risk of hurting anyones feelings.
ReplyDeleteUnless your TV has recently become sentient, but even so, it will probably realise you are talking about the performers and not it.
Have you considered talk back radio? Also good for increasing one's "frustration with the world" levels. :-)
LOL @ matt...don't feel bad, mr. cranky. i'm 25, i yell at the tv, the radio, in the car, at other people if i'm not at work, on the phone, at my boyfriend's younger siblings (ages 6 and 8)...it happens.
ReplyDelete