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Thursday, December 29, 2011



This holiday season I saw numerous products sold by famous people.  What does Justin Bieber know about scents? What does Kim Kardashian know about fashion?  Did these people go to fashion school; did they go to “Smelling-good” university?  I think they only sell stuff because they are famous.  It made me think, what will I sell in case I ever become famous?  Here are my ideas:

OLD SPICEY DUDE A cologne for cranky old men - A musty, dusty, smell with a hint of grandma’s parlor, old cigars and a touch of gas.

CRANKY TEE SHIRTSA collection of loosely fitted sleeveless white tee shirts with cranky old man sayings in blurry print:

            “Help, I’ve fallen and I forget which way is up!”

            “I coulda kicked your ass 20 years ago!”

            “If found, please return to a young rich lady with big hooters”

CRANKY BIG FOAM FINGER – Never mind the “we’re #1”; this large foam middle digit lets you flip the bird even with arthritic hands.

A COMB-OVER TOUPEEFor old geezers that want to look younger, but still fit in with their crowd.

CRANKY CRANKY OLD DUDE BOARD GAME - Choose your token piece; a walker, a pair of shoes with the laces tied together, or a Li’l Rascal scooter.  Roll the die to see who can advance 20 squares and go from your bed to the TV in the den.  Watch out for road blocks!  “You hit a shag carpet, lose a turn” or “You crapped your drawers, go to the John. Do not pass the handicapped ramp; do not collect your SS check.

These are just a few of my ideas to strike it rich.  All I need is fame and an agent!      


  1. You are at the top of your game with this one, Cranky!!! LOVED it!

  2. This post is spot on!
    I've been wanting to write a post about 'famous people' and what I would say to them when I meet them, but I've never quite found the time. Maybe someday....

  3. What about the bubble above their head product. It would be perfect when I'm walking in the store with my children and my child blocks their path for a moment. The bubble could automatically pop out and say, "You worthless parent. My children never did that."