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Monday, December 12, 2011

EXTREME AUSTERITY

EXTREME AUSTERITY

Money is tight these days, so I am looking into ways to save some cash.  Watching TV, as I do a lot, I have found many advertized ways to cut costs.  By shopping smart, and making a few lifestyle changes, Mrs. Cranky and I expect the following savings this year:

GEICO promises if I change insurers I can save $500 a year on car insurance.

I quit smoking and save $7.00 a day from a pack-a-day addiction.  That is a savings of $2555/year.

I quit drinking for a savings of $30/week on wine and $30/week on scotch total savings of $2900/year.

TV ads claim I can change my cable and internet access for a savings of $3500/year.

I have found new services that promise savings of $5000/year on health insurance, $1000 on cell phone service, and $2000/year by ordering pet supplies on-line.

I shop for clothes at inexpensive stores and save $1500 per year.

Using coupons and only buying store brand groceries saves me $3900/year.

I use gas saving techniques while driving to save $520/year, and set my thermostat down in the winter and up in the summer to save $1200/year on heating and air conditioning.

FreeCreditReport.scam  promises to save me money on lower interest rates on my loans = $4000/year savings.

I saved $5000 on a new car by buying on an advertized “super sales” week.

I added insulation to my house, installed more eco-friendly windows and purchases new “green” appliances, all to achieve a promised savings of $3000/year.

I shopped around and found a cheaper vacation home this year for a $1500 savings.

Mrs. Cranky and I go out to dinner only twice a month from six times a month.  Saving $4000/year.

We make our own meals and stopped ordering out for pizza, Chinese etc.  Saving $3000/year.

Renting movies versus going to the theater saves $1200/year.

No more Broadway shows and nights on the town saves $2800/year.

I cut back on birthday and Christmas presents by 50% saving $2000.

We pay all our bills on-line, and keep up with friends on-line including sending Holiday greetings.  Savings on stamps - $750/year.

Cutting back on showers, soap, hair products and deodorant saves $600/year.

Reduced expenses from suddenly having no friends to entertain saves $1500/year.

When we do go out, I forget to tip; saving $460/year.

Fake tossing money into the exact change machines on the parkway – savings $700/year.

Using only sweeteners, salt, pepper, ketchup and other condiments that are smuggled out of restaurants saves $175/year.

Resoling shoes instead of buying new - $225/year.

Shoplifting dishes, clothes, golf balls and other items - $600/year

Sneaking onto the golf course once a week - $1800/year.

All of these austerity changes to our lifestyle have a projected savings of $57,945. 

I only have an income of $50,000/year.

I figure someone owes me $7,945!

4 comments:

  1. You are so smart, why didn't I think of all this? Shop-lifting and not tipping is BOUND to reap some benefits. Yahoo!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here's hoping you don't get all the government for which you are paying and that you do buy deodorant, soap, shampoo, and toothpaste, because it's the others around you who will be Cranky! Otherwise, I say, "Go forth and save!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now that you have all that income, you might be interested in some of my suggestions for Christmas gifts, http://www.funnytheworld.com/2011/Dec/13.htm

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is life insurance age 76 nice to read! I had fun reading this and at the same time learn term life insurance age 37 so much from it! Thanks for sharing and for posting this one! Keep cheap term life insurance it up!

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