Is there a list of official “dishwasher rules?” I think every woman has their own set of rules. I am on my third marriage. I have had to learn a new set of conflicting rules with every wife. As soon as I learn the rules, I change wives and have to relearn a new set of rules. It is hard enough for a man to learn how to perform a task, it is impossible to have to relearn new rules.
PLEASE!! Women, please get together and agree on dishwasher protocol.
Here are the rules I have to adjust to after every new marriage.
1. Knives go in pointy side down or pointy side up? Make up your minds, one way or the other, I really don’t care!
2. All plates and flatware must be scrapped clean before loading. Some say yes some say no. It seems to me the dishwasher should be doing this work, but many women say the washer only sanitizes the load. I don’t really care; just decide one or the other!
3. Tupperware? Yes or no? Come on women, either you can put it in the washer or you can’t. Please, one rule!
4. Silverware? See #3.
5. Fine china? See #3. Keep in mind most men cannot discern fine china from corningware.
6. When can I turn the washer on? Does every nook and cranny need to be bursting with dishes or can I do a load every day?
7. If #6 requires the washer to be bursting with dishes before starting, is there a time limit to overrule that requirement. Two days? One week? Make up your mind and tell me!
8. Can I wash stainless steel? I’m told it might rust. Really, rust but not stain? Really?
9. No plastic, plastic will chip or might melt, or plastic is no problem; come on, what is it?
Currently these are the rules I have been forced to follow:
Knives go pointy side down so you do not stab yourself as opposed to pointy side up so the business end gets cleaned. Everything needs to be scrubbed clean before loading; the washer only sanitizes the dishes. Tupperware…..NEVER, it will lose its whoosh when burped. Silverware…no, I have no explanation. Fine china…no, it will chip. Why won’t crappy china chip? The machine must be filled to the brim and then not turned on until the wife has a chance to inspect and redistribute the dishes to optimize capacity. Dirty dishes must be washed within two days if washer is not filled to capacity. No stainless steel, it might rust if the drying process is not complete (I don’t make the rules, I just follow.) No plastic, it might melt (I know, dishes have to be scrubbed clean before loading into a machine that could melt plastic. WTF?)
These are the rules I currently follow. Please ladies, get together and make one set of rules, I refuse to have to relearn dishwasher protocol again.
Or, I guess I will just have to stick with Mrs. Cranky and her rules.