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Monday, September 19, 2011



My Jeep was due for an oil change and lube.  In the past I have taken it to the dealer, but my dealer went out of business.  The nearest dealer is a bit out of the way, and since I only needed an oil change and a lube, I figured just one time I could go to the local Quickie Lube.
I pulled into the Quickie Lube bay and immediately the lube guy, an almost 22 year old Vo-tech grad with a “What?” tattooed on his neck,   introduces himself.  “My names Gil, how can I help you today?”  I informed the lube guy I only wanted an oil change and a lube. 

“Yes Sir.  Do you need new wipers?”

“Just an oil change and a lube please.”

“We have a special on the four wheel transmission fluid change.”

"Just an oil change and a lube please.”

“OK, yes Sir. How about filters, hoses or belts?”

“Oil and lube please.”

"OK, suit yourself.”

I settled back as Gil and the unseen workers under the bay went through the check list of stuff.

“Belts…OK.  Window washer fluid….OK.  Franistan….OK.  Pergafloid….full.  Fremager…check.  Oh O!  Excuse me Sir, can I show you something?”

“Just come on over here.  Look at this exhaust housing, see how dirty and even a bit wet it is; your fuel ophrenks need to be flumuxed and cleaned every 8000 miles.  If your jets get clogged it will cost you power and gas mileage.”
I see; it’s an engine, and it does look dirty.

I noted that what he was pointing to was dirty, and thought to myself, “Gee it’s connected to an engine fueled by gas and oil which when burned creates what?   Hmmm smoke, soot, certainly not anything clean; I think I’ll take a chance for now.”
“Good to know, I’ll tell the dealer next time I take the car in.”

“You know, the dealers only want to sell cars, they don’t really care about preventative maintenance and they’ll charge a fortune.”

“So you think they want their cars to crap out so they can sell me a new car?  I’m not sure that’s a very good business model.”
“Well Sir, my cousin worked at a dealer.  The stories I could tell you.”

“Gil, if a doctor told me I needed a new heart value, I would go for a second opinion.  I realize the car dealers are underhanded crooks, and I am sure you wouldn’t sell something to me that I didn’t need just to make a commission, after all I have known you for eleven minutes so I can trust you, but right now I just want an oil change and a lube.”
“OK, suit yourself.  But you’ll be sorry.”

I pulled out ten minutes later and $39.99 shorter after paying for just an oil change and a lube.  
As I drive today, even though I know better, I keep thinking the pick-up is a little sluggish, and my gas mileage is not what it should be.

“You’ll be sorry,”   Fucking Gil! 


  1. i just had the same issue over the weekend, mr. cranky. i went to get a standard oil change and fluids check, so i dropped my car off and my mom offered to pick me up so i didn't have to wait there. 40 minutes later, the mechanic calls me and says, "everything's going fine with your oil change, ma'am." okay, great...then why are you calling me "there are a couple things i think you could use to help your car run a bit better. your brakes look great, but they have a little build up around them, so i'd recommend getting the drums cleaned out. that'll be $39.99. we can do that today for you." no thanks, just the oil change is fine. "okay, well we recommend a fuel injection system cleaning, too, which will improve the car's performance and fuel economy. that's $144." no thanks, just the oil change today. i will pick up a bottle of instant fuel injection system cleaner for $5 at auto zone. "okay, ma'am, then we'll just keep working on the oil change."

    ...but sadly, i will probably still end up getting both of those things this coming weekend, because i'm weak, and i shudder at the thought of having bigger problems (i.e. engine or radiator problems), especially because i just replaced the alternator about 2 months ago!

    i HATE car maintenance. *kicks dirt*

  2. Hey Grumpy Guy! Fun site. Just left you a positive Alexa reviews. I came by from the MBS Blog Hop Weekend! Have a good week.

  3. I stopped going to one quick lube place because every time I took it in they found something they said needed to be fixed. The last straw was when they would not past my car inspection because of a problem not even part of the inspection. I do not know a whole lot about car but I know enough to know when you are full of it.

    Dan the Mountain Man
    Mountain Highs and Valley Lows

  4. Hahahah! Power of suggestion! I hate it when they try to sell me more than what I want when I go to get my oil changed. What I hate worse is when they lecture me as though I'm a 2 year old in time out if I'm a little late getting it changed, or if one of my tires looks a little bald, or...and the list goes on.

    I'm following you now. You need a button. I will be back regularly. And I'm here from MBS, I left you an alexa review. I'd love one back!


  5. All I can say is that I am mighty glad that S started out his career working for Mercedes and is Master Merc mechanic and does all our car servicing, tuning and repairs himself...I do have a good mechanic here that I used for years before S was even on the scene and he is fab cos he never charges me full whack for labour nad alsways does a great job

  6. Uh oh. I hope he didn't do a little something in there to make it not run so well.....!!!

  7. I get very irritated when mechanics try to sell me stuff I don't really need.

  8. Best line ever to put a stop to that?

    Give me a list in writing of what my car needs. I will work on it as I can afford it. That way if you take it to someone else and they say it doesn't need it, doesn't even have that, or whatever- you have them in black and white, trying to pull a fast one.

  9. Nice to meet you Mr Cranky! I am following you on Google Friend Connect and left you an Alexa Review. Please return the favor at

  10. Mechanics always piss me off. I get back at them though, by being nosy and asking as many questions as I possibly can. And I never buy that extra stuff they suggest....I have mechanic friends who will tell me if I really need something.

    Here from the Lots of Lovin' blog hop, but was already a follower.

  11. They prey on dumb blondes! And we get sucked in.