CRANKY’s POEM OF CHRISTMAS EVES PAST
‘Twas the night before Christmas
In my little house
I tried to play Santa
Though I was half soused
The children were sleeping
Content they’d not sinned
They had not a clue
Dad was three sheets to the wind
Trying to construct
A bike or a plane
While being half toasted
Was simply insane
There was no excuse
For my sorry condition
But getting bombed on this night
Was my Christmas tradition
On Lancer’s on Gray Goose
On Dewars I’m sippin
Screw Rudolph and Donnar
I’m getting Blitzen
The presents were laid out
The stockings filled in a hurry
I staggered upstairs
With sight that was blurry
The children awoke
And jumped on our bed
In their excitement
They didn’t care of my head
Down the stairs
To the tree they did run
The presents; the stockings
Were nothing but fun
The children were happy
They were all in high clover
Merry Christmas to all
And to Dad a hangover
The new, improved, sober Cranky say's drink responsibly, and if you must drink...don't wrap presents!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!! - I'll be back next year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!! - I'll be back next year.
This is a brilliant poem. Thank you Joe. I really enjoyed it; especially the mention of Dewar.
ReplyDeleteWishing you and your family a blessed Christmas filled with Joy Hope and Peace.
God bless you all.
Loved this. Thank you and best wishes to you and yours for Christmas and the New Year.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious...and....maybe time to adjust the Christmas tradition a tad????
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahaha. Love it.
ReplyDelete• ★ Merry ★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★ Christmas 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚｜ 田田 ｜門｜ ˚And a Happy New Year
* Joy to all! ♫•*¨* Peace on Earth ♪♫•*¨*
I love it! You're a poet and now we know it! Merry Christmas to you and Mrs. C and all the other C's.
ReplyDeleteLove it when you wax poetic. Well done and a smart caution at the end, especially about wrapping presents.
ReplyDeleteWishing you and yours a blessed and beautiful Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI LOVED your poem. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you & Mrs. C!!
ReplyDeleteYour poem was fabulous...fit for a Hallmark Christmas movie since it has a happy ending! Merry Christmas to you and Mrs. C and all your family!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best Christmas poem I think, applicable to almost every dad in the known universe. Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteWhat a scream!
ReplyDeleteThat's just grand, Cranky Joe! Best wishes for the new year, my friend.
ReplyDeleteOMG, best. poem. ever.
ReplyDelete