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Monday, March 20, 2017

Why I can’t Be Left Alone

Why I can’t Be Left Alone
Mrs. C has been away on business. She is manager of a ballroom dance studio and it is having a big four-day competition in Connecticut, which means she has been away for five days…she left early to avoid a big storm.

I have been a bachelor for all that time.  The first day I lived the bachelor life.  Watched TV, practiced guitar, went to the gym, grilled a steak (it was too cold for a cigar) and had some scotch and even a little wine.  Being a bachelor is nice.  I enjoyed it for a day.  From then on I missed Mrs. C. 
Shhhhh, don’t let her know.
So, now I was all by myself, cooking and eating alone was not such a big deal, getting a little buzz was not all that great, and sleeping alone was weird.  I had no one to tease and have my nipples twisted.  No one to hide deserts under a towel.  No one to explain what was happening on TV, and I had too much time to do stupid stuff.
What stupid stuff? 
Why is grooming stupid? 
Well, I hate having Brezhnev eyebrows.  You know those overgrown bushy things on the 1970’s Russian Premier.  I trim mine from time to time with scissors and a comb. 
Well now I was all alone, and I thought, “Why use scissors, I have a special razor for trimming my beard, why not also use it to trim my eye brows?”
Mrs. C would have said “Don’t do it!”
Mrs. C was not here to say “Don’t do it!”
I did it.
So now one brow is kinda shaved real funny.  It will grow back, but for the next few days I will have to adjust my glasses, and angle my head in just such a way that the shaved eye brow will not be too obvious.
Mrs. C is going to give me the business for this mistake.
I say it is her fault. 
She shouldn’t leave me alone!


  1. get yourself to a theatrical costume place and buy a pair of replacement eyebrows.
    Men do the weirdest things when they are left alone.

  2. Barber shops ot beauticians live to groom wild eyebrows.
    They almost beg to do them.

  3. Something tells me your nipples are gonna be sorry that you messed with your eyebrows.

  4. Your eyebrows are the first thing she'll notice upon her return. I guarantee it. I kind of liked hubby being gone; he goes rarely but I do like the TV remote to myself without having to justify why I might want to watch a particular show :)


  5. Buy an eyebrow pencil and get practicing, you might be amazed at what you can do and let's face it your nipples might be pleased.

  6. Ha! Now I'm picturing Yosemite Sam with only one eyebrow.

  7. Hey, I wonder if that's why my hubby decided to go to Chicago this weekend with me!

  8. Oh no, you shouldn't have done that, but you know that now. I'm very sure you'll never do it again either. You are such fun.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  9. Lesson learned! At least you won't have to hear any 'I told you so's'

  10. Hey, you just need more practice! Season with Rogain and try try again ... ;-)

  11. You get matches? When my wife is gone she takes the matches with her. She knows me well. ;)

  12. Anyway to even them up? You have time, try the eyebrow pencil. Otherwise, just brace for what you know is coming.

  13. There is no end to the trouble men can get into when left to their own devices.

  14. Twisted nipples?? I'm going to be a bachelorette in April. I'll start missing my husband the second day. Uneven eyebrows are definitely better than the Brezhnev look.

  15. Yep. I'd back you up on that. We'd have to hope for an all male jury, or the case would be laughed out of court, but I'm with you dude.

  16. Next time, you get to go along, since you can't be left unattended. That or you have to go visit other relatives.

  17. LOL The few times I go off by myself it doesn't take long for the phone to ring: "Honey, where's the can opener? Can I defrost that beef in the freezer? How? What time does the mail come? Should I feed the cats? Every day?" OMG


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