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Monday, March 20, 2017

Why I can’t Be Left Alone

Why I can’t Be Left Alone
Mrs. C has been away on business. She is manager of a ballroom dance studio and it is having a big four-day competition in Connecticut, which means she has been away for five days…she left early to avoid a big storm.

I have been a bachelor for all that time.  The first day I lived the bachelor life.  Watched TV, practiced guitar, went to the gym, grilled a steak (it was too cold for a cigar) and had some scotch and even a little wine.  Being a bachelor is nice.  I enjoyed it for a day.  From then on I missed Mrs. C. 
Shhhhh, don’t let her know.
So, now I was all by myself, cooking and eating alone was not such a big deal, getting a little buzz was not all that great, and sleeping alone was weird.  I had no one to tease and have my nipples twisted.  No one to hide deserts under a towel.  No one to explain what was happening on TV, and I had too much time to do stupid stuff.
What stupid stuff? 
Grooming.
Why is grooming stupid? 
Well, I hate having Brezhnev eyebrows.  You know those overgrown bushy things on the 1970’s Russian Premier.  I trim mine from time to time with scissors and a comb. 
Well now I was all alone, and I thought, “Why use scissors, I have a special razor for trimming my beard, why not also use it to trim my eye brows?”
Mrs. C would have said “Don’t do it!”
Mrs. C was not here to say “Don’t do it!”
I did it.
So now one brow is kinda shaved real funny.  It will grow back, but for the next few days I will have to adjust my glasses, and angle my head in just such a way that the shaved eye brow will not be too obvious.
Mrs. C is going to give me the business for this mistake.
I say it is her fault. 
She shouldn’t leave me alone!

20 comments:

  1. get yourself to a theatrical costume place and buy a pair of replacement eyebrows.
    Men do the weirdest things when they are left alone.

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  2. Barber shops ot beauticians live to groom wild eyebrows.
    They almost beg to do them.

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  3. Something tells me your nipples are gonna be sorry that you messed with your eyebrows.

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  4. Your eyebrows are the first thing she'll notice upon her return. I guarantee it. I kind of liked hubby being gone; he goes rarely but I do like the TV remote to myself without having to justify why I might want to watch a particular show :)

    betty

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  5. Buy an eyebrow pencil and get practicing, you might be amazed at what you can do and let's face it your nipples might be pleased.

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  6. Ha! Now I'm picturing Yosemite Sam with only one eyebrow.

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  7. Hey, I wonder if that's why my hubby decided to go to Chicago this weekend with me!

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  8. Oh no, you shouldn't have done that, but you know that now. I'm very sure you'll never do it again either. You are such fun.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  9. Lesson learned! At least you won't have to hear any 'I told you so's'

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  10. Hey, you just need more practice! Season with Rogain and try try again ... ;-)

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  11. You get matches? When my wife is gone she takes the matches with her. She knows me well. ;)

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  12. Anyway to even them up? You have time, try the eyebrow pencil. Otherwise, just brace for what you know is coming.

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  13. There is no end to the trouble men can get into when left to their own devices.

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  14. Twisted nipples?? I'm going to be a bachelorette in April. I'll start missing my husband the second day. Uneven eyebrows are definitely better than the Brezhnev look.

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  15. Yep. I'd back you up on that. We'd have to hope for an all male jury, or the case would be laughed out of court, but I'm with you dude.
    R

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  16. Next time, you get to go along, since you can't be left unattended. That or you have to go visit other relatives.

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  17. LOL The few times I go off by myself it doesn't take long for the phone to ring: "Honey, where's the can opener? Can I defrost that beef in the freezer? How? What time does the mail come? Should I feed the cats? Every day?" OMG

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