NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 042615


STUPID HEADLINES 042615

It’s time again for

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  
       What a guy!   
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY*

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

________________________________

Oklahoma governor signs bill allowing nitrogen in executions – This is shocking, don’t they know that stuff can kill you!

Idaho fire officials say parrots called out to be rescued from blaze – “Awk, awk, get me the fuck outta here!”

Widow sues herself for negligence in car crash that killed husband – And the winner is…The Lawyer!

Colorado man cited by police after shooting his computer – Precisely why I don’t keep guns at home!

Workers busted for stealing bourbon that would last a lifetime –  If you drink enough of that stuff a lifetime may not be that long.

New Zealand prime minister apologizes for repeatedly pulling cafe worker's hair – The PM claims he generally only pulls people’s hair occasionally and randomly, not repeatedly.

North Korea should learn from Iran negotiations, senior US official says – Just say, “Ah…yeah, sure…whatever”, and you’ll get what you want.**

Mich. woman gets 3-7-years for shooting over bacon-less burger – Hold the pickles hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us, but forget the bacon and I’m going to drill your ass!

Anti-human trafficking bill passes Senate – The bill passed 100%, surprisingly enough the Senate does not have a single person that is pro human trafficking.

Jr. High Girl Develops App For Bad Hair Day – Why would anyone want a bad hair day?

People Who Like Grilled Cheese Sandwiches Have More Sex – Maybe, but to my mind any sex with a sandwich is too much sex.

Loretta Lynch confirmed as attorney general – This is ridiculous, what the hell has she done to be qualified to be Attorney General? Why would we put a Country Western Singer into such an important…what? Lynch?...nevermind.

*Title headline thx to Catalyst @ http://oddballobservations.blogspot.com/

**Oh relax, I don’t know if the Iran deal is good or not, it is just a joke.  Sheesh, people are so uptight.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_________________________________

Last week’s fake was:

Texas man arrested for ATM “bank robbery.” He slipped a note in the card reader that said “I have a crowbar, spit out all you money and no one gets hurt!”

And the winners:

My guess is Texas man arrested for ATM “bank robbery.”--it sounds too dumb, even for Texas!!

Oh that fishducky!  Fooled her one week and she is back again! Visit Fran @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/ Always funny stuff…cartoons, stories…just go visit!

Texas man arrested for ATM bank robbery is my pick. There is no threat of physical harm so robbery is taken out of the mix.
A late Sandee entry, but she is back on track.  Visit Sandee for laughs.  Especially visit her funny Sunday link up...that would be today...go@  http://comedyplus.blogspot.com 


13 people guessed wrong!

COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

 

17 comments:

  1. I'll be back later. Going to get my coffee right now.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. Loretta Lynn might make an interesting politician. Especially since she seems to claim she sees ghosts all the time...

    ReplyDelete
  3. well, because we've had such a rash of folks stealing atms here, i didn't pick 'robbery' on a technicality. :P

    i'd take a shot of bourbon (that's not my pick - i'd just take a shot of kentucky bourbon.)

    i'll pick the self-suing widow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm waiting here till Sandee get's back with the coffee :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love you Steve. I'm back, but I'm just going to see which one I think it might be. I'll do my comment much later in the week. ☺

      Delete
  5. My guess is People Who Like Grilled Cheese Sandwiches Have More Sex --but have you ever had a good french dip?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Widow sues herself? Hard to believe.

    ReplyDelete
  7. After much in-depth analysis, I choose None Of The Above for my fake pick this week. I would give you a glimpse into my line of reasoning, but I'm selfish like that.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am going to say none of the above and go fix myself a grilled cheese.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm gonna say grilled cheese is the fake one.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hmm. Gotta say none of the above is fake. That said, I am in awe of your ability to find a supply of these every week!

    ReplyDelete
  11. There is an app for bad hair days, but it was developed in Britain, by a web designer. Unless another one has come out, that is the fake headline.

    And yes, the widow can "sue herself," meaning she as the widow is suing herself as the driver, to try to get the car insurance company to compensate her for her husband's death. The idea is that she should be allowed to sue any driver who causes her harm, even if that driver happens to be herself.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'll just pick the bacon-less burger shooting. After all, wouldn't "bullets for bacon" make a horrible slogan?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Since people like to sue anyone over anything, I am most likely wrong to going with "Widow sues herself for negligence in car crash that killed husband."

    ReplyDelete
  14. "Oklahoma governor signs bill allowing nitrogen in executions" By "signs bill" I assume that means affixing his "X". :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think all of these are true Cranky. So this week it's none of the headlines are fake.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think it's the grilled cheese people - what a dumb survey question!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!