NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, March 15, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 031515


STUPID HEADLINES 031515
Duh, makes sense, I am never be failing no English testes!
It is time once again for

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

One headline may be fake.  Guess the fake and win a mention and a WHOOP-TEE-DOO.  None of the above may be a correct answer.

___________________________________

Ohio man arrested after calling 911 to say wife stole his cocaine – “Dude, like you know how many people I had to mug to get that cocaine.”

GOP Lawmaker Suggests Wolves Could Help Get Rid Of Homeless People – That is a terrible idea…wouldn’t residents complain about all the howling at night?


Man covers himself in Mentos, jumps into Coke filled tub – There was no reaction at all, turns out it was the wrong coke…he did have a rip-snorting good time though.


Montana four year old finds dinosaur bone in sand box – All my kids ever found in the sand box was cat poop.


Idaho fugitive caught after posting his plans on Facebook – His penchant for wearing an orange jump suit also made his escape a little more difficult.


Secede? Separatists Claim Texas Never Joined United States – Please tell me this doesn’t mean we have to do another recount of that Gore/Bush thing.

6.5M Social Security Numbers Linked to People Aged 112 & Up – Administration does not want to challenge these recipients, “Hell, some of these old geezers vote twice every election so we know they’re still alive.


Did Jesus really have a brother? – Of course!  He had several; Juan, Jose, Ramon, and Manuel.

Star Wars' universe gets its first gay character – Wait. Yoda was straight?

Henrik Stenson says Viagra is the only PED that PGA Tour golfers need I disagree, since they went to a metal driver, you no longer need wood.



NJ man burned by fajitas while praying at Applebee’s – “Please God, don’t let this fajita burn me…OUCH!! Maybe I should stop praying and just let it cool a bit.”

Mom shoots her 50-inch HDTV because kids were watching too much TV – Look between the couch pillows, the remote is always between the couch pillows!

Kim Kardashian says she has sex with Kanye West ‘500 times a day.’- Assuming 6 hours of sleep a day, this is about once every 2 minutes, which is amazing in one respect, but kind of disappointing in another.

Archaeologists have found the worlds ‘oldest pretzel’ – 250 year old pretzel was found under the cushion of a 251 year old couch.

Indian bride walks out of wedding after groom gets math problem wrong The answer was $1.75…The question was “How much is half of everything you own?”

_______________________________

Last week’s fake was:

Bald men have more sex, study finds – Sure, but only with bald women.

Interesting that mostly old bald dudes got this one.  Interesting and maybe a little sad.

Two lady winners, but Val got it by being logical and literal,  Sandee got it because she always does!

The winners are:



Another loss. I'm now 0 and forever in this contest. Oh well, like Rocky, I'll get up off the canvass and try not to get knocked down again.

Bald Guys do have more sex but, the headline is fake because we don't kiss and tell. I know I got this one in the bag.

There is a first for everyone!

You can find agent 54 here  http://agent54nsa.blogspot.com/


I'm going with the Bald Men Have More Sex... because I did my own study and found everybody else has more sex.

Pretty sure this is another first time winner.

Visit here http://lionskip.blogspot.com/ because everyone needs an Uncle Skip!


This week, I am going with "Bald men have more sex" as the fake. Not from my experience, although we ARE twice as good at it as those other hairy bastards.

Another first time winner?  No more bald guy fake headlines!

Boston’s most popular newspaper columnist posts here http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/

Val

I have to pick the sex-ed up bald men as the fake headline, because it is incomplete. More sex than...? More sex than they had WITH hair? More sex than Tom Hanks in Castaway? More sex than a septuagenarian with a broken hip? Not enough info.

The Dictorian thinks her way to another victory!

I keep telling you people to visit Val for good stuff every day.  If you like “Seinfeld,” Hillbillies, Gas Station chicken and diet coke go here http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/


Bald men have more sex, study finds is my pick. Most of these I've heard or read about.

Ho Hum…Yawn! Funny stuff here everyday http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/  

At least I fooled fishducky! So do not visit http://fishducky.blogspot.com/  and rub it in!

14 people guessed wrong!

Congratulate all our winners, and rub it in to fishducky!

Then come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!


14 comments:

  1. Good ones this week as always. Some I know are true and some I'm not sure. I'll be back later with my pick.

    Is Fishducky licking her wounds? I hope not as she's very funny.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. You forgot to mention Jesus's bothers Felipe and Matty.
    They once all played in the same outfield for the Giants.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think I'll go with the dinosaur bone in the sandbox as the fake. The guy calling to report his wife stole his cocaine has got to be real!

    ReplyDelete
  4. going for nj man burned by fajitas at applebees.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wait! I won? Me? OMG! I'm so happy and blessed. I want to thank the academy, Uncle Leo and everyone else who made this possible.

    This week I'm going with "Montana four year old finds dinosaur bone in sand box" because even in Montana, Dinosaurs and more than 4 years old.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Please tell me it's Montana four year old finds dinosaur bone in sand box--I'd hate to be wrong 2 weeks in a row!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Eenie, meenie, miney, moe, mentos and Coke.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Some of these I've heard, but not the Dino bone in the sandbox. Of course it could have been a really old sandbox!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am going with the "Montana four year old finds dinosaur bone in sand box" this time. Everyone else is going with it. I will hate if it is the Mentos and Coke one.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm picking the Wolves Dispose of Homeless People suggestion as fake. I'm pretty sure wolves are a protected species, and nobody would risk them being harmed. If my logic fails me, so be it. I am not one to follow the crowd. Or bald men. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

    ReplyDelete
  11. What color little pills do you have to take to have sex 500 times a day? Careful what you wish for!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh gosh, I am sooooo bad at this, yet soooo addicted!
    Your comments are particularly hilarious this week!
    I will vote for that floozy and her husband Kanye 500x a day.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm going with Montana four year old finds dinosaur bone in sand box. There's no logic to this at all. Not even possible.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!