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Sunday, January 19, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 011914


STUPID HEADLINES 011914

It is time once again for:
 
Except for the race and gender thing it was a perfect match
 

 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

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Scientists discover hormone that blocks pot "high" – Why in the Hell would anyone even look for such a horrible hormone?

India makes first gun designed for women – So if you are in India and you’re pissed off at your wife, the local store will recommend this special gun?

Government spent millions on penis pumps, paid double retail price – This explains all the really big dicks in government, but do they have to screw us on price as well?

Convicted Oregon pimp sues Nike over lack of shoe warning label – Apparently under certain conditions these shoes will cause you to abuse women and turn them into prostitutes…I think a label would be appropriate.

Denver police shoot suspect who used woman as human shield – Turns out some women do not stop bullets very well.

Thief tries to steal Sigmund Freud's ashes – I blame the thief’s mother.

Congress to vote on a cut in pay for themselves and their staff - Vote will take place on April 1.

California woman finds illegal distillery inside her garage – "Officer, I swear, the last time I looked it was a ‘57 Chevy!"

Little League baseball coach sues former player over victory celebration injury – I think our tort’s law needs a “Shit happens clause.”

Canada's Olympic Skeleton Team Shows Off Amazing Helmets – Helmets smelmets, in what kind of event do skeletons compete?

Court affirms Mass. murderer's right to get sex change in prison – Do they have to disinfect the chainsaw?

School bus driver suspended after bus drags girl for block – I’m pretty sure the first rule of bus driving is let the passengers off before closing the door.

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Last week’s fake headline was:

12 year old weight lifter tests positive for human growth hormone – Well yeah, he’s 12!

The only winner was the usually gullible Chubby Chatterbox!

           Stephen Hayes said...

The twelve year old weight lifter doesn't sound real to me.

Congratulations Stephan! Visit Stephan @ http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com for stories, art lessons and lots of really good stuff…just check it out!!

Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

13 comments:

  1. Congress voting themselves a pay cut? Not even on April Fools day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. yay for steven!

    i'm going for congress voting on april fools' day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yep, these are common anymore aren't they. You just can't fix stupid.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is that congressional cut in pay like a double negative?
    If not, it's the one.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wish it were the headline about penis pumps, but I think it's the one about congressional pay.

    ReplyDelete
  6. oh my gosh these were all so funny - but the fake HAS to be Congress voting themselves a pay cut. I seriously doubt they would even consider that for half a second.

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh my gosh these were all so funny - but the fake HAS to be Congress voting themselves a pay cut. I seriously doubt they would even consider that for half a second.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is too easy this week! Are you sure you had your coffee this morning?

    OF COURSE, it has to be the one about congress voting for their pay cut!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am going with the congress vote. Next you tell me them going to cut taxes to 1 percent.

    ReplyDelete
  10. One of these days you're gonna fool us and all of them are going to be fake. Until then, I doubt Congress would ever vote to cut its pay.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Somehow the dicks in Washington have pay raises figured out and yet tax cuts seem to be such a mystery--even on April 1.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Congress has gotta be the joke. I mean the fake.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Enjoyed your comments but the Freud's ashes one cracked me up.
    I'm going with the crowd mentality. It has to be the congress one.

    ReplyDelete

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