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Monday, January 20, 2014

"The Bachelor…sloppy seconds"

   "The Bachelor…sloppy seconds"
Yes, I am a fan of reality TV.  Not all the shows, but many of them…too many.  I watch the Housewives of New Jersey, Pawn Stars, Hardcore Pawn, Storage Wars, The Apprentice, and especially I watch “The Bachelor.”

I also watch “The Bachelorette” but “The Bachelor” is the best.

What I like best about this show is the group of bachelorettes.  All are gorgeous, most are smart, and all are not used to being turned down from anything.  Every one of the girls is immediately “In Love” with the bachelor.  I don’t know if they are really in love or they just want to be picked because their whole lives they have always been picked.

I love seeing these gorgeous women who have always gotten what they want because they are pretty, not get a rose, not get picked.  Does this make me mean? 

Yes…too bad…maybe it is because I have never been “Pretty.”  I am tired of seeing people get stuff just for being pretty. 

“Buy me a drink…I’m pretty.”

“I might be a little late, that’s ok isn’t it…cause…I’m pretty.”

“A promotion for me?  Well why not, after all, I’m pretty.”

“Officer do you have to give me a ticket…I’m pretty you know.”

Oh I know it’s not that easy, but I don’t care.  I’m mean remember?


I can’t have enough of watching these girls be turned away and their reactions to not getting what they want. 

I want more. 

I propose a new show which would follow “The Bachelor.”

“THE BACHELOR…sloppy seconds.”

This show would have a second bachelor, not quite as handsome or as successful as the first bachelor, but a catch nevertheless.

As girls are eliminated from the first show, they become contestants on “THE BACHELOR…sloppy seconds.”

They get to go on dates and fight to win-over the second bachelor.  It would be fascinating to see each one immediately falling in love for the second time and have to grovel once again to become “sloppy seconds.”

There would be flirting, backstabbing, and crying.  There would be lots of crying.  In the end twenty-five girls would have been rejected by bachelor number one, and twenty-four would be humiliated by not even getting selected as “sloppy seconds.” Even though they are all PRETTY! 

I would love this show because…well because I’m mean.


  1. I would watch Sloppy Seconds for sure! Damn all those pretty girls, anyway. I'd like to see them all have ten kids and get fat.

  2. I don't watch but find your idea interesting. The consolation prize for the second group of rejectees should be a year of free analysis. They would need help adjusting to being average.

  3. Never watched. I assumed it was about getting married, but I guess it's just about getting a rose and going back to work tomorrow.

  4. *shudder* I had to endure the last ten minutes of that show last night just waiting for "The Blacklist" to start. My timing was off.
    I seem to recall a young lady in elementary school (her name was Evelyn. Lovely name) who was the object of desire of all the boys. She blossomed early.
    Turns out, life wasn't all that kind to her as the years rolled by, and as the kids were popped out. I think she ended up with an entire volley ball team.
    Kinda sad.

  5. you do propose a pretty good follow-up program. i have watched a couple of earlier seasons but gave it up. the only 'reality' show i watch is survivor.

  6. I was more than willing to judge you harshly for your deplorable taste in television, but as always you are a persuasive fellow and I see the method behind your madness. I stopped watching Pawn Stars when it became all about the people working there instead of the items brought in to the shop.

  7. I've never watched any of the shows you mentioned which is not to say that I never watch any reality TV. I do watch American Idol (though I skipped it entirely last year), Duck Dynasty (despite having a very different outlook than Phil) and strangely enough, I like to try to catch an episode of Sister Wives, if I can. I just can't imagine opting to live as they do and that fascinates me. Come to think of it, it's kind of the opposite of The Bachelor. All these women sharing one man rather than competing for him. They all get sloppy seconds.. ish.

  8. "Sloppy seconds" meant something entirely ...well mostly... different to me.

  9. No need to wish ill of all the pretty people. Nature has its own way of doling out comeuppance for vanity, it's called gravity, stretch marks, middle-age spread and neck waddle!

  10. Sloppy seconds would be a good idea, but do you think all those gorgeous girls would be willing to take a chance with a less than handsome guy?

  11. me likes. make it so

  12. I can't watch reality shows. I feel third-party shame for anyone who is in it.

    Now if you tell me that you watch that one with the redneck family from Georgia (Honey Boo Boo?) I may have to stop reading your blog!

    ;-) JK, of course. So please don't tell us!

  13. Please don't bully the pretties! They can't help what they look like. After a lifetime of getting what they want, this must be very hurtful to them. I hope they can handle it. Maybe EVERYBODY should get a rose. Get a Mormon bachelor. Then they can have a spin-off reality show. Not to compete with your Sloppy Seconds, though.

  14. The only reality show I ever watch is The Iron Chef. Oh, an Antiques Roadshow. Well, I did watch the Pawn guys a time or two. And then there's Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. I mean, those are reality shows aren't they?

  15. It is annoying when favours are bestowed on persons because they are pretty. The same way people with blonde hair and big blue eyes are perceived as prettier.
    I don't watch reality shows, they either make me angry or they seem so senseless.